Mad: A Story of Dust and AshesFenn, George Manville
General
Mad: A Story of Dust and Ashes
Fenn, George Manville
Fiction
Lucy's eyes turned very dim as soon as she had passed Mr Sterne, and
things wore a strangely blurred aspect. She would have given worlds to
have thrown herself upon his breast, and told all--of Agnes Hardon and
her sorrow, confided to her alone, as the suffering woman begged of her
to love her for her child's sake, and not to turn upon her the cold
bitter eyes of the world at large; and again and again Lucy had taken
the passive, wasted, tearful face of Agnes to her breast, in the rare
and stealthy meetings they had had, and wept over her, little knowing
that Agnes possessed a secret which she felt that she could not divulge
for the sake of those whom she had injured. Again and again Lucy had
implored her leave to confide in Septimus Hardon, but Agnes had refused
so firmly, telling her that the day her presence was betrayed would be
that of their last meeting--telling her so angrily, but only to kneel at
her feet the next moment, and ask her to bear for a little longer with
an erring woman, whose stay in this world might not be for long. And so
Lucy toiled on, bearing the scathing breath of calumny; pointed at by
suspicion; and wounded again and again in her tenderest feelings by the
only man she had ever felt that she could love. They were her own
words, poor girl, though little had she seen of the world at large. She
told herself that it was cruel of him to treat her as he did; but what
could she do? And then she shivered as she thought of stolen meetings
by night--meetings which should take place no more--while she wept
bitterly as she hurried through the streets thinking of the misery of
her lot.
She had no veil to her shabby bonnet, and it was only at last by a
strong effort that she forced back the tears; for she felt that people
were staring hard at her as she passed. But it was no unusual thing for
people to look hard at Lucy Grey, while there was variety in those
glances; there were, from women, the glance of envy, the look of
sisterly admiration, and that bordering upon motherly love; and there
were the hard stare from puppydom, the snobbish ogle, looks of love and
respect, every glance that could dart from human eye; but the poor girl
hurried on as in a dream, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, but bent upon
the object of her journey. It was nothing to her that behind at a few
yards' distance came Mr William Jarker, favouring everyone with a
fierce scowl in return for the glances bestowed upon her, as he tracked
her with the pertinacity of a bloodhound, turning when she turned,
crossing when she crossed. Once only on her way back did Lucy tremble,
when a fiercely-bearded, middle-aged dandy half stopped in front of her,
so that she was compelled to turn a little out of her path, as with a
heightened colour her eyes sunk before the fellow's insulting stare.
But she did not hear his words, as, fervently wishing old Matt were by
her side, she hurried on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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