And Rosalind gradually, but nevertheless fully, came out of the shadow
of that blighting cloud. What is there in human misery which can
permanently crush a heart under twenty? Nothing, at least save the last
and most intolerable of personal losses, and even then only in the case
of a passionate, undisciplined soul or a feeble body. Youth will
overcome everything if it has justice and fresh air and occupation. And
Rosalind made her way out of all the ways of gloom and misery to the sky
and sunshine. Her memory had, indeed, an indelible scar upon it at that
place. She could not turn back and think of the extraordinary mystery
and anguish of that terrible moment without a convulsion of the heart,
and sense that all the foundations of the earth had been shaken. But
happily, at her age, there is not much need of turning back upon the
past. She shivered when the momentary recollection crossed her mind, but
could always throw it off and come back to the present, to the future,
which are always so much more congenial.
This great catastrophe, which made a sort of chasm between her and her
former life, had given a certain maturity to Rosalind. At twenty she had
already much of the dignity, the self-possession, the seriousness of a
more advanced age. She had something of the air of a young married
woman, a young mother, developed by the early experiences of life. The
mere freshness of girlhood, even when it is most exquisite, has a less
perfect charm than this; and the fact that Rosalind was still a girl,
notwithstanding the sweet and noble gravity of her responsible position,
added to her an exceptional charm. She was supposed by most people to be
five years at least older than she was: and she was the mother of her
brothers and sisters, at once more and less than a mother; perhaps less
anxious, perhaps more indulgent, not old enough to perceive with the
same clearness or from the same point of view, seeing from the level of
the children more than perhaps a mother can. To see her with her little
brother in her lap was the most lovely of pictures. Something more
exquisite even than maternity was in this virgin-motherhood. She was a
better type of the second mother than any wife. This made a sort of halo
around the young creature who had so many responsibilities. But yet in
her heart Rosalind was only a girl; the other half of her had not
progressed beyond where it was before that great crisis. There was
within her a sort of decisive consciousness of the apparent maturity
which she had thus acquired, and she only such a child--a girl at heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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