what he had seen, did she know what he knew, she would give up at once
that championship which she had held so warmly. It had always been told
him that though men might forgive a woman who had fallen, no woman ever
did so; and how must an innocent girl, ignorant, incredulous of all
evil, feel towards one who had thus sinned? What could she do but flee
from her in terror, in horror, with a condemnation which would be all
the more relentless, remorseless, from her own incapacity to understand
either the sin or the temptation? But no doubt it would be a terrible
shock to Rosalind. This was the only thing that held him back. It would
be a blow which would shake the very foundations of her being: for she
could not suspect, she could not even know of what Madam was suspected,
or she would never stand by her so. Now, however, that her peace had
been disturbed by this chance incident, there was a favorable
opportunity for Roland. It was his duty now, he thought, to strike to
the root of her fallacy. It was better for her that she should be
entirely undeceived.
Thinking about this, turning it over and over in his mind, had cost him
almost his night’s rest: not altogether. If the world itself had gone to
pieces, Roland would still have got a few hours’ repose. He allowed to
himself that he had got a few hours, but, as a matter of fact, he had
been thinking of this the last thing when he went to sleep, and it was
the first thing that occurred to him when he awoke. The frost had given
way, but he said to himself that he would not hunt that day. He would go
on to the Elms; he would manage somehow to see Rosalind by herself, and
he would have it out. If in her pain her heart was softened, and she was
disposed to turn to him for sympathy, then he could have it all out, and
so get a little advantage out of his anxiety for her good. Indeed, she
had snubbed him yesterday and made believe that she did not know who it
was he wanted for his companion and guide; but that was nothing. Girls
did so, he had often heard--staved off a proposal when they knew it was
coming, even though they did not mean to reject it when it came. That
was nothing. But when she was in trouble, when her heart was moved, who
could say that she would not cling to him for sympathy? And there was
nobody that could sympathize with her as he could. He pictured to
himself how he would draw her close to him, and bid her cry as much as
she liked on his faithful bosom. That faithful bosom heaved with a
delicious throb. He would not mind her crying; she might cry us long as
she pleased--there.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account