“Oh, no! there will be many more words; you have promised Aunt Sophy to
stay to lunch.”
“To see you in the midst of the family is almost worse than not seeing
you at all. Miss Trevanion, you must know. Perhaps I am doing wrong to
take advantage of their confidence, but how can I help it? Everything in
the world is summed up to me in this moment. Say something to me! To
talk of love in common words seems nothing. I know no words that mean
half what I mean. Say you will think of me sometimes when I am away.”
Rosalind trembled very much in spite of all she could do to steady
herself. They had gone through the hall without speaking, and it was
only when they had gained the shelter of the conservatory, in which they
were safe from interruption, that he thus burst forth. The interval had
been so breathless and exciting that every emotion was intensified. She
did not venture to look up at him, feeling as if something might take
flame at his eyes.
“Mr. Rivers, I could say that very easily, but perhaps it would not mean
what you think.”
“Yes,” he said, “I see how it is; the words are too small for me, and
you would mean just what they say. I want them to mean a great deal
more, everything, as mine do. At my age,” he said, with an agitated
smile--“for I am too old for you, besides being not good enough in any
way--at my age I ought to have the sense to speak calmly, to offer you
as much as I can, which is no great things; but I have got out of my own
control, Rosalind. Well, yes, let me say that--a man’s love is worth
that much, to call the girl whom he loves Rosalind--Rosalind. I could go
on saying it, and die so, like Perdita’s prince. All exaggerated
nonsense and folly, I know, I know, and yet all true.”
She raised her head for a moment and gave him a look in which there was
a sort of tender gratitude yet half-reproach, as if entreating him to
spare her that outburst of passion, to meet which she was so entirely
prepared.
“I understand,” he said; “I can see into your sweet mind as if it were
open before me, I am so much older than you are. But the love ought to
be most on the man’s side. I will take whatever you will give me--a
little, a mere alms!--if I cannot get any more. If you say only _that_,
that you will think of me sometimes when I am away, and mean only that,
and let me come back, if I come back, and see--what perhaps Providence
may have done for me in the meantime--”
“Mr. Rivers, I will think of you often. Is it possible I could do
otherwise after what you say? But when you come back, if you find that I
do not--care for you more than now--”
“Do you care for me at all now, Rosalind?”
“In one way, but not as you want me. I must tell you the truth. I am
always glad when you come, I shall be very glad when you come back, but
I could not--I could not--”
“You could not--marry me, Rosalind?”
She drew back a little from his side. She said “No” in a quick, startled
tone; then she added “Nor any one,” half under her breath.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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