without the power of ruining himself and her--this became more and more
the engrossing subject of her thoughts.
As for Edmund, though he indulged in many complaints and grumbles as to
having always a woman at his heels, his impatience never went the length
of emancipating himself. On the whole, his indolent nature found it most
agreeable to have everything done for him, to have no occasion for
thought. He had the power always of complaint, which gave him a kind of
supremacy without responsibility. His fixed grievance was that he was
kept out of London; his hope, varying as they went and came about the
world, that somewhere they would meet the family from which Mrs.
Trevanion had been torn, and that “on the sly,” or otherwise (though he
never repeated those unlucky words), he might find himself in a
position to approach Rosalind. In the meantime he amused himself in such
ways as were practicable, and spent a great deal of money, and got a
certain amount of pleasure out of his life. His health was not robust,
and when late hours and amusements told upon him he had the most devoted
of nurses. On the whole, upon comparison with the life of a clerk on a
small salary in a Liverpool office, his present existence was a sort of
shabby Paradise.
About the time when Rosalind heard from Mr. Rivers of that chance
encounter which revived all her longings for her mother, and at the same
time all the horror of vague and miserable suspicion which surrounded
Mrs. Trevanion’s name, a kind of crisis had occurred in this strange,
wandering life. Edmund had fallen ill, more seriously than before, and
in the quiet of convalescence after severe suffering had felt certain
compunctions cross his mind. He had acknowledged to his tender nurse
that she was very kind to him. “If you would not nag a fellow so,” he
said, “and drive me about so that I don’t know what I am doing, I think,
now that I am used to your ways, we might get on.”
Mrs. Trevanion did not defend herself against the charge of “nagging” or
“driving” as she might perhaps have done at an earlier period, but
accepted with almost grateful humility the condescension of this
acknowledgment. “In the meantime,” she said, “you must get well, and
then, please God, everything will be better.”
“If you like to make it so,” he said, already half repentant of the
admission he had made. And then he added, “If you’d only give up this
fancy of yours for foreign parts. Why shouldn’t we go home? You may like
it, you speak the language, and so forth: but I detest it. If you want
to please me and make me get well, let’s go home.”
“We have no home to go to, Edmund--”
“Oh, that’s nonsense, you know. You don’t suppose I mean the sort of
fireside business. Nothing is so easy as to get a house in London; and
you know that is what I like best.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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