“I have no wish to laugh, Sophy, I assure you. If your aunt or some one
wakes and finds you gone from your bed, how shall you explain it?”
“Oh, I shall tell her that I was-- I know what I shall tell her,” Sophy
said, recovering herself; “I am not such a silly as that.”
“You are not silly at all, my dear. I wish you were not half so clever,”
said John. He turned away with a sick heart. Sophy and those
unconscious, terrible revelations of hers were more than the man could
bear. The air was fresh outside, the day was young; he seemed to have
come out of an oppressive atmosphere of age and sophistication,
calculating prudence and artificial life, when he left the child behind
him. He was so much overwhelmed by Sophy that for the moment, he did
not fully realize the importance of what she had told him, and it was
not till he had walked some distance, and reconciled himself to nature
in the still brightness of the morning, that he awoke with a sudden
sensation which thrilled through and through him to the meaning of what
the little girl had said. Her mother--was it possible? no ghost, but a
living woman. This was indeed a solution of the problem which he had
never thought of. At first, after Madam’s sudden departure from
Highcourt, John Trevanion went nowhere without a sort of vague
expectation of meeting her suddenly, in some quite inappropriate
place--on a railway, in a hotel. But now, after years had passed, he had
no longer that expectation. The world is so small, as it is the common
vulgarity of the moment to say, but nevertheless the world is large
enough to permit people who have lost each other in life to drift apart,
never to meet, to wander about almost within sight of each other, yet
never cross each other’s paths. He had not thought of that--he could
scarcely give any faith to it now. It seemed too natural, too probable
to have happened. And yet it was not either natural or probable that
Mrs. Trevanion, such as he had known her, a woman so self-restrained, so
long experienced in the act of subduing her own impulses, should risk
the health of her children and shatter their nerves by secret visits
that looked like those of a supernatural being. It was impossible to him
to think this of her. She who had not hesitated to sacrifice herself
entirely to their interests once, would she be so forgetful now? And
yet, a mother hungering for the sight of her children’s faces, severed
from them, without hope, was she to be judged by ordinary rules? Was
there any expedient which she might not be pardoned for taking--any
effort which she might not make to see them once more?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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