He had got on the gravel again, in his sudden, angry step backward, and
turned on his heel, crushing the pebbles with a sound that seemed to jar
through all the atmosphere. After he had gone a few steps he paused, as
if expecting to be called back. But Rosalind’s heart was all aflame. She
said to herself, indignantly, that to believe such a man had anything to
tell her was folly, was a shame to think of, was impossible. To chaffer
and bargain with him, to promise him anything--her love, oh Heaven! how
dared he ask it?--was intolerable. She turned away with hot, feminine
impulse, and a step in which there was no pause or wavering; increasing
the distance between them at a very different rate from that achieved by
his lingering steps. It seemed that he expected to be recalled after she
had disappeared altogether and hidden herself, panting, among the
shadows; for she could still hear his step pause with that jar and harsh
noise upon the gravel for what seemed to her, in her excitement, an hour
of suspense. And Rosalind’s heart jarred, as did all the echoes. Harsh
vibrations of pain went through and through it. The rending away of her
own self-illusion in respect to him, which was not unmingled with a
sense of guilt--for that illusion had been half voluntary, a fiction of
her own creating, a refuge of the imagination from other thoughts--and
at the same time a painful sense of his failure, and proof of the
floating doubt and fear which had always been in her mind on his
account, wounded and hurt her with almost a physical reality of pain.
And what was this suggestion, cast into the midst of this whirlpool of
agitated and troubled thought?--“I could tell you; I could make it easy
for you to see; I could clear up--” What? oh what, in the name of
Heaven! could he mean?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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