Americans -- France -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction
She was standing close to him, with her dress touching him, her
eyes fixed on his. As she went on her tone became, to his sense,
extraordinary, and she offered the odd spectacle of a beautiful woman
preaching reason with the most communicative and irresistible passion.
Longmore was dazzled, but mystified and bewildered. The intention of
her words was all remonstrance, refusal, dismissal, but her presence
and effect there, so close, so urgent, so personal, a distracting
contradiction of it. She had never been so lovely. In her white dress,
with her pale face and deeply-lighted brow, she seemed the very spirit
of the summer night. When she had ceased speaking she drew a long
breath; he felt it on his cheek, and it stirred in his whole being
a sudden perverse imagination. Were not her words, in their high
impossible rigour, a mere challenge to his sincerity, a mere precaution
of her pride, meant to throw into relief her almost ghostly beauty, and
wasn’t this the only truth, the only law, the only thing to take account
of?
He closed his eyes and felt her watch him not without pain and
perplexity herself. He looked at her again, met her own eyes and saw
them fill with strange tears. Then this last sophistry of his great
desire for her knew itself touched as a bubble is pricked; it died away
with a stifled murmur, and her beauty, more and more radiant in the
darkness, rose before him as a symbol of something vague which was yet
more beautiful than itself. “I may understand you to-morrow,” he said,
“but I don’t understand you now.”
“And yet I took counsel with myself to-day and asked myself how I had
best speak to you. On one side I might have refused to see you at all.”
Longmore made a violent movement, and she added: “In that case I should
have written to you. I might see you, I thought, and simply say to you
that there were excellent reasons why we should part, and that I begged
this visit should be your last. This I inclined to do; what made me
decide otherwise was--well, simply that I like you so. I said to myself
that I should be glad to remember in future days, not that I had, in the
horrible phrase, got rid of you, but that you had gone away out of the
fulness of your own wisdom and the excellence of your own taste.”
“Ah wisdom and taste!” the poor young man wailed.
“I’m prepared, if necessary,” Madame de Mauves continued after a pause,
“to fall back on my strict right. But, as I said before, I shall be
greatly disappointed if I’m obliged to do that.”
“When I listen to your horrible and unnatural lucidity,” Longmore
answered, “I feel so angry, so merely sore and sick, that I wonder I
don’t leave you without more words.”
“If you should go away in anger this idea of mine about our parting
would be but half-realised,” she returned with no drop in her ardour.
“No, I don’t want to think of you as feeling a great pain, I don’t want
even to think of you as making a great sacrifice. I want to think of
you--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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