He waited, thinking that it would soon expend itself; then when the sobs
continued, he went over to her, and taking her gently in his arms, tried
to soothe her by stroking her hair and calling her by the endearing
names he had used during the first weeks of their marriage, and begging
her to control herself for his sake, it hurt him so. After this last
appeal, Blanche put her arms round his neck, and buried her head on his
breast, and for a few moments they sat together without speaking, her
body shaken now and then from the violence of her grief. Then Jules
began to question her quietly, and the whole story of her sufferings
since Jeanne's birth came out so pathetically that, in spite of his
anger, he was touched, and convinced that, after all, the Englishwoman
had been right.
In his remorse that Blanche had suffered in silence, and he had not
found it out, had done nothing to help her, he declared he would have
the diving stopped at once, no matter what the cost might be. Rather
than see her unhappy, he would make her give up performing altogether,
if that were necessary. At any rate, he would go to Marshall the next
day and see what could be done about taking her name off the bills. They
would leave this disgusting London, perhaps for the south of France,
where Blanche could have a long rest, and gather strength for her visit
to America the next year. For a long time they talked over the plan, and
then Jules made Blanche go to bed.
"You'll not be able to do your work tomorrow," he said, "if you sit up
much longer. Of course, you can't stop it at once. Marshall wouldn't
listen to that. You're his best attraction, and he'll have to advertise
your last appearances."
For more than an hour after Blanche left him, Jules walked up and down
the little drawing-room, smoking cigarettes. The revelation of his
wife's trouble had so upset him that he felt unable to sleep. But it was
of himself, not of her, that he was chiefly thinking. Dr. Broughton had
told him that a long rest might cure Blanche of her nervous terror and
relieve her of the pains in the back, but it was probable that she would
be affected again as soon as she resumed her performance.
If this proved true, his own career would be ruined; there would be no
more travelling, no more triumphs! Blanche would sink into obscurity,
would become a mere nonentity, devoted to her child and house-keeping,
like scores of other wives and mothers that he knew and despised in
Paris. Out of the circus, she was utterly commonplace, Jules said to
himself, and the fact came to him with the force of a revelation! But
for that he would never have married her; the brilliancy of her talent
had dazzled him! And now, if she had to leave the circus, how
beautifully he would have been tricked! He would be tied down to her and
her child! The expense of maintaining them would oblige him to live
meanly, in a way that he had never been used to, that he loathed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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