Perry waited five minutes to see if Lester would come out on his own. This happened sometimes with the fatkins girls; love among the fatkins was stormy and unpredictable and Lester seemed to like bragging about the melt-downs they experienced, each one an oddity of sybaritic fatkins culture to boast about. But Lester didn't come out this time. Perry thought about calling him or sending him an email. Finally, Perry went and knocked at his door. "Oh, go back to the living room, I'll come out, I'll come out." Perry went back and moused desultorily at some ride-fan blogs for a while, listening for Lester's door opening. Finally, out he came, long-faced and puffy-eyed. Perry shook his head. Was everyone miserable tonight? "Hello, Lester," he said. "Something on your mind?" He barked a humorless laugh. "With her, I'm still fat." Perry nodded as though he understood, though he didn't. "Since fatkins, I've felt like, I don't know, a real person. When I was big, I was invisible and totally asexual. I didn't think about having sex with anyone and no one ever thought about having sex with me. When I felt something for a woman, it was more like a big, romantic love, like I was a beast and she was a beauty and we could enjoy some kind of chaste, spiritual love. "Fatkins made me...whole. A whole person, with a life below my belt as well as above my neck. I know it looks gross and desperate to you, but to me it's a celebration. Every time I get together with a fatkins girl and we're, you know, partying -- for both of us it becomes something really intimate. A denial of pain. A fuck you to the universe that made us so gross and untouchable." "And with her, you're still fat, huh?" Lester winced. "Yeah, it's my problem. I guess I really resent her for not wanting me when I was big, though I totally get why she wouldn't have." "Maybe you're angry that she wants you now." "Huh." Lester looked at his hands, which he was dry-washing in his lap. "OK, maybe. Why should she want me now? I'm the same person, after all." "Except that you're whole now." "Urk." Lester started pacing. "Who broke the toast-robot?" "Kettlewell's daughter, Ada. Eva was over with the kids. She moved out on Kettlebelly." He thought about whether he should tell Lester. What the hell. "She thinks he's in love with Suzanne." "Jesus," Lester said. "Maybe we should swap. I'll take Eva and he can take Suzanne." "You're such a pig," Perry said. "You know us fatkins -- fuck, food and folly." "So what's going on with you and Suzanne now?" "She's gone away until I can get naked around her without either bursting into tears or making sarcastic remarks." Jesus. Crying. Perry couldn't remember when he'd ever seen Lester cry. It was waterworks city these days around here.