A MAN, A WOMAN, AND SPIRITS.
He did not go near her for three days. During all that time he was
battling with his own soul.
So strange and powerful was the impression made by the conversation of
Helena, that the whole current of his life seemed changed.
All his former independent course of action, which he had justified with
a thousand arguments, all his selfish years of pleasure, all his
Arcadian existence with Dolores, loomed up before him now as lawless and
wicked.
"No wonder my mother's pure spirit fled from me to the most distant
borders of the spirit world," he said. "How unworthy her sweet
companionship I am--and yet I might become worthy."
But how could he go to Dolores, and tell her that their life together
was a terrible mistake: that they must part at once, and forever?
And if he did not, how could he ever hope to attain that ideal of high,
noble manhood, which would alone fit him for the companionship of his
mother's spirit, here or hereafter?
He suffered the agonies of the damned, all those days. He shunned the
streets for fear of meeting Dolores: the Club seemed hateful to him, and
he remained shut in his own apartments, a prey to gloomy thoughts.
And then one of those curious caprices of Fate occurred, which again
compelled him to stifle the voice of his conscience.
It often seems in this life, when a soul is floundering in a net-work of
Sin's weaving, striving to extricate itself, that the Devil, like a
great spider, comes along and spins new meshes about it.
A messenger brought Percy a note from Dolores one day. He opened it
hastily and read:
"MY DARLING:
"I am ill: threatened with a fever. No one but Lorette is with me. I
am longing for you, and I am alarmed about you. You never remained
so long away from me before, without sending me some message. The
thought that you may be ill, and that I am not near you to minister
to your needs, is maddening. Write to me, dear, and if you can, come
to your sick and lonely
"DOLORES."
He was by her side within an hour. She reached out her arms, and
pillowed her flushed face on his breast, weeping softly.
"Oh, Love!" she murmured. "I have felt so lonely, so _deserted_ these
last days. I think I have realized just what life would be without you:
it would be an agony of desolation. I could not live."
Percy's heart writhed within him, as he stroked the beautiful head and
soothed her with kind words. How could he ever stab that loving heart by
telling her the change that had come over him--a change as thorough as
it was sudden; a change that was the dawn of a possible new life for
him.
"I cannot. It is too late; it would be more cruel than murder," he said
to himself, and he drew Dolores into his arms, and comforted her as he
would have comforted a sick child. She asked no explanation of his
absence, and he made none.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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