He went away a thousand times more hopelessly entangled in the meshes of
fate than ever.
He loved Helena with a passion that frightened him, so mysterious, so
sudden, so exalted, so intense in its spiritual force was it.
He who said that love, to be sincere, must be of slow growth, that man
was a fool.
As God said, unto the darkened world, "Let there be light" and there was
light, so, unto many a slumbering heart, He has said, "Let there be
love," and there was love--radiant, glorious, eternal, as is the
splendor of the sun in the heavens.
So had love sprung to life in the heart of Percy Durand--a love that the
waters of death could not quench.
"Never since my mother died," he whispered to his heart, "have I felt
such an adoring affection bordering upon worship, as I feel for this
girl. I could be any thing, do any thing, with her beside me--my guide,
my friend, my mate, _my wife_."
Wife! Yes, that was how he thought of Helena. All his old theories and
cynical beliefs fell away from him, like dead leaves from a tree, in the
presence of this beautiful new love.
All his old life of license, and bachelor freedom, and secret
companionship with a charming woman, seemed like the apples of Sodom to
him now.
He wanted a home where he could proudly welcome the whole world, if need
be, to witness his happiness. He wanted a wife to entertain his
friends--not a mistress to hide from them; and he wanted children to
crown his life and perpetuate his name.
These highest human instincts come knocking at the door of every man's
heart, some time in his life.
He may bolt the door with avarice or pride, curtain the windows with
lawless passions, and block the entrance with worldly ambitions and
pleasure. But the Creator who meant him to be a part of that holy
earthly trinity,--father, mother, and child,--shall send a great unrest
upon his soul; and despite all his precautions, a longing for the love
of a pure woman and a little child shall take possession of his heart.
That time had come to Percy: come as suddenly and unexpectedly as the
greatest eras almost always come in human existence.
He closed his eyes and indulged in wild dreams.
He saw himself sitting before an open fire-place: a little distance from
him, Helena, in flowing white robes, singing a golden-haired child to
sleep upon her breast. Near by, a friend, some of his bachelor
companions, perhaps, envying his happiness, as he looked upon the scene
with admiring eyes.
Then he sprang up and fairly groaned aloud.
"I must guard myself in my letters," he said. "I will only write to
Helena, as a suffering man might address a Sister of Charity. She shall
never know how I love her, until my life is free from every fetter of
sin and folly, and until I have made myself worthy by years of noble
living."
But you may as well talk of hiding the glory of the sunrise from the
earth, as the fervor of a great passion from the object which inspired
it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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