Percy flushed. "No," he said, "that was the result of our dangerous
companionship, and my selfishness. I could not continue in the platonic
association so satisfactory to her, and I could not give her up easily,
and so the great mistake was made. The error of a lifetime is often
committed in a moment, you know. And now--"
"And now," Helena continued, calmly, with white lips as he paused, "now
the right course of action for you seems very clearly defined. You can
at least tell her of your changed ideas, and offer her marriage. If she
declines, you are justified in leaving her. She has no right to compel
you to live an unprincipled life. But she will not decline your offer.
Even Heloise yielded her opinions and liberal theories to the request of
Abelard, and became his wife, you know."
Percy had been walking the room excitedly while she spoke. As she
ceased, he turned, and stood facing her with his arms folded.
"There is one more thing to tell you," he said. "Something which renders
the advice you give impossible for me to follow. I love another woman
with all the fervor of my soul, with all the strength of my heart. Love
her with a love that lifts me up to the very gates of heaven, and
purifies my whole nature like a refining fire. I see her face, waking or
sleeping. I hear her voice in the silence of the night, and above the
roar of the street, by day. It is a love which only comes to one man in
a thousand, because only one woman in a million can inspire it. This
love is at once an agony and a rapture. It asks, it expects no return.
It fills my life full here, and it will pervade eternity for me when I
die. But, loving like this, even though hopelessly, it would be
sacrilege to ask any other woman to be my wife. Even to right a wrong,
one should not commit a greater wrong--that of sinning against the
holiest and most sacred emotion which ever entered a human heart."
While he spoke, Helena had grown crimson from brow to chin. Then she
turned deathly pale, and, burying her face in her hands, she sank into
a chair, sobbing wildly.
When he had told her the story of his life, she had wondered at the
terrible pain it gave her to listen. But she had believed it was the
disappointment she felt in finding her ideal friend so earthly. This
together with her sympathy for the unknown woman.
Now, as she listened to his strangely impassioned words, there came to
her a revelation that she had given him all the pent-up passion of her
soul, all the pure love of her woman's heart. And to what end? The
knowledge startled, shocked and terrified her, and she sobbed like a
frightened child.
Percy was unmanned at the sight of her tears, yet this unexpected
outburst filled him with sudden hope. After all, this divine being, this
goddess _did_ love him. He forgot everything, save that one fact.
"Helena!" he cried, kneeling before her, and striving to uncover her
face--"my darling, my queen--look at me--speak to me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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