And yet, knowing the story of your life, in all its tragic details,
its temptations, and its trials, I have felt to-day many times, that
I loved as deeply or as unwisely as other women have loved--loved
enough to find my happiness in reforming the object of my
affections. Let no man consider this a woman's true sphere. If, out
of the vastness of her love, she is willing to lean down to him, let
him bow in reverence before her: not lightly taking it as her duty
and his right.
But while I love you, and must love you forever, even as you have
said, I can never be your wife.
I cannot lead you into your newly-found Kingdom of Love, when by so
doing I must tread upon another woman's bleeding heart. I could not
accept happiness bought at the price of another's misery and
despair.
Over the fairest day the future could prepare for us, there would
always hang the shadow of another's life-long sorrow.
Could I answer you otherwise, under the circumstances, I would not
be worthy of your love. Yet, if I did not know that this life is
only a very small portion of our existence, I might be so mad with
selfish passion that I should forget every consideration save my
love for you.
But I believe that those who belong to each other spiritually will
find each other and dwell together through eternities of love.
I believe we shall. But while here, on earth, we must make ourselves
worthy of that life, by unselfish thoughtfulness of others, by
self-denial, and suffering, if need be. You have made a terrible
mistake, which can only be atoned for by a life of repentance and
resolve. And I must suffer with you. The great wrong, in a mistake
or a sin like yours, is that it reaches out and injures those who
are guiltless. Two people make laws unto themselves and say, 'It is
no one's business--we wrong no one save ourselves.' Yet invariably
others _are_ eventually wronged.
No soul ever transgressed a divine law of morality, without injuring
some innocent being.
There is no absolute individuality. We are all linked and lashed
together by invisible but indestructible threads, spun down from the
Great Source. When any man attempts to extricate himself from others
and stand alone, a guide and god unto himself, he but more
hopelessly interlaces and snarls the web which unites us all.
You, my friend, have snarled the threads about us: but even in my
pain there lies a joy in the consciousness that I suffer through,
and with you. It is sweeter than to rejoice with another. In the
beginning of time, God married our souls; that we are separated
during one brief stage of existence cannot hinder our final eternal
union. Be true to your new self, and 'run your race in patience, for
you are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses.' God bless you, and
adieu.
"HELENA."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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