"To Sir Nicholas Thormonde, Bart, V.C.," (it began, and then) "Dear Sir: Circumstances force me to work--so I shall have to remain in your service--if you require me. I am unfortunately quite defenceless, so I appeal to whatever chivalry there is in you not to make it so impossible that I must again give in my resignation. Yours faithfully, A. Sharp." * * * * * I fell back in my chair in an agony of emotion--My darling! My queen!--whose very footprints I worship--to have had to write such a letter--to me! The unspeakable brute beast I felt! All my cynical calculations about women fell from me--I saw myself as I had been all day--utterly selfish--not really feeling for her grief, only making capital out of it for my own benefit--. At that moment, and for the rest of the day and night, I suffered every shade of self reproach and abasement a man can feel. And next day I had to stay in bed because I had done some stupid thing to my leg in lying down without help. When I knew I could not get into Paris by Saturday when Alathea was to come to the flat--I sent Burton in with a note to the shop in the Avenue Mosart. "Dear Miss Sharp--(I wrote) "I am deeply grateful for your magnanimity. I am utterly ashamed of my weakness--and you will not have called upon my chivalry in vain, I promise you.--I have to stay in bed, so I cannot be at the flat, and if you receive this in time I shall be obliged if you will come out here again on Saturday. Yours very truly, Nicholas Thormonde." Then I never slept all night with thoughts of longing and wondering if she would get it soon enough to come. Over and over in my vision I saw the picture of her sitting there in Burton's room sobbing--My action was the last straw--My shameful action!--Burton showed the good taste and the sympathy and understanding for her which I should have done--. And to think that she is troubled about money, so that she had to take a loan from my dear old servitor--far greater gentleman than I am--. And that I cannot be the least use to her--and may not help her in any way! I can go on no longer in this anguish--as soon as I feel that peace is in the smallest measure restored between us--I will ask her to marry me, just so that I can give her everything. I shall tell her that I expect nothing from her--only the right to help her family and give her prosperity and peace--. * * * * * _Sunday:_