Man and Superman: A Comedy and a PhilosophyShaw, Bernard
Philosophy
Man and Superman: A Comedy and a Philosophy
Shaw, Bernard
English drama; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
VIOLET. [icily pitying his sentimentality] Really, Mr Malone, I am
astonished to hear a man of your age and good sense talking in that
romantic way. Do you suppose English noblemen will sell their places to
you for the asking?
MALONE. I have the refusal of two of the oldest family mansions in
England. One historic owner can't afford to keep all the rooms dusted:
the other can't afford the death duties. What do you say now?
VIOLET. Of course it is very scandalous; but surely you know that the
Government will sooner or later put a stop to all these Socialistic
attacks on property.
MALONE. [grinning] D'y' think they'll be able to get that done before I
buy the house--or rather the abbey? They're both abbeys.
VIOLET. [putting that aside rather impatiently] Oh, well, let us talk
sense, Mr Malone. You must feel that we haven't been talking sense so
far.
MALONE. I can't say I do. I mean all I say.
VIOLET. Then you don't know Hector as I do. He is romantic and faddy--he
gets it from you, I fancy--and he wants a certain sort of wife to take
care of him. Not a faddy sort of person, you know.
MALONE. Somebody like you, perhaps?
VIOLET. [quietly] Well, yes. But you cannot very well ask me to
undertake this with absolutely no means of keeping up his position.
MALONE. [alarmed] Stop a bit, stop a bit. Where are we getting to? I'm
not aware that I'm asking you to undertake anything.
VIOLET. Of course, Mr Malone, you can make it very difficult for me to
speak to you if you choose to misunderstand me.
MALONE. [half bewildered] I don't wish to take any unfair advantage; but
we seem to have got off the straight track somehow.
Straker, with the air of a man who has been making haste, opens the
little gate, and admits Hector, who, snorting with indignation, comes
upon the lawn, and is making for his father when Violet, greatly
dismayed, springs up and intercepts him. Straker doer not wait; at least
he does not remain visibly within earshot.
VIOLET. Oh, how unlucky! Now please, Hector, say nothing. Go away until
I have finished speaking to your father.
HECTOR. [inexorably] No, Violet: I mean to have this thing out, right
away. [He puts her aside; passes her by; and faces his father, whose
cheeks darken as his Irish blood begins to simmer]. Dad: you've not
played this hand straight.
MALONE. Hwat d'y'mean?
HECTOR. You've opened a letter addressed to me. You've impersonated me
and stolen a march on this lady. That's dishonorable.
MALONE. [threateningly] Now you take care what you're saying, Hector.
Take care, I tell you.
HECTOR. I have taken care. I am taking care. I'm taking care of my honor
and my position in English society.
MALONE. [hotly] Your position has been got by my money: do you know
that?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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