Man and Superman: A Comedy and a PhilosophyShaw, Bernard
Philosophy
Man and Superman: A Comedy and a Philosophy
Shaw, Bernard
English drama; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
OCTAVIUS. But she would not say it unless she believed it. Surely you
don't suspect Ann of--of DECEIT!!
MRS WHITEFIELD. Well, never mind, Tavy. I don't know which is best for a
young man: to know too little, like you, or too much, like Jack.
Tanner returns.
TANNER. Well, I've disposed of old Malone. I've introduced him to
Mendoza, Limited; and left the two brigands together to talk it out.
Hullo, Tavy! anything wrong?
OCTAVIUS. I must go wash my face, I see. [To Mrs Whitefield] Tell him
what you wish. [To Tanner] You may take it from me, Jack, that Ann
approves of it.
TANNER. [puzzled by his manner] Approves of what?
OCTAVIUS. Of what Mrs Whitefield wishes. [He goes his way with sad
dignity to the villa].
TANNER. [to Mrs Whitefield] This is very mysterious. What is it you
wish? It shall be done, whatever it is.
MRS WHITEFIELD. [with snivelling gratitude] Thank you, Jack. [She sits
down. Tanner brings the other chair from the table and sits close to her
with his elbows on his knees, giving her his whole attention]. I don't
know why it is that other people's children are so nice to me, and that
my own have so little consideration for me. It's no wonder I don't seem
able to care for Ann and Rhoda as I do for you and Tavy and Violet. It's
a very queer world. It used to be so straightforward and simple; and
now nobody seems to think and feel as they ought. Nothing has been right
since that speech that Professor Tyndall made at Belfast.
TANNER. Yes: life is more complicated than we used to think. But what am
I to do for you?
MRS WHITEFIELD. That's just what I want to tell you. Of course you'll
marry Ann whether I like it myself or not--
TANNER. [starting] It seems to me that I shall presently be married to
Ann whether I like it myself or not.
MRS WHITEFIELD. [peacefully] Oh, very likely you will: you know what she
is when she has set her mind on anything. But don't put it on me: that's
all I ask. Tavy has just let out that she's been saying that I am making
her marry you; and the poor boy is breaking his heart about it; for he
is in love with her himself, though what he sees in her so wonderful,
goodness knows: _I_ don't. It's no use telling Tavy that Ann puts things
into people's heads by telling them that I want them when the thought of
them never crossed my mind. It only sets Tavy against me. But you know
better than that. So if you marry her, don't put the blame on me.
TANNER. [emphatically] I haven't the slightest intention of marrying
her.
MRS WHITEFIELD. [slyly] She'd suit you better than Tavy. She'd meet her
match in you, Jack. I'd like to see her meet her match.
TANNER. No man is a match for a woman, except with a poker and a pair of
hobnailed boots. Not always even then. Anyhow, I can't take the poker to
her. I should be a mere slave.
MRS WHITEFIELD. No: she's afraid of you. At all events, you would tell
her the truth about herself. She wouldn't be able to slip out of it as
she does with me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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