Man and Superman: A Comedy and a PhilosophyShaw, Bernard
Philosophy
Man and Superman: A Comedy and a Philosophy
Shaw, Bernard
English drama; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
DUVAL. [impulsively rushing across to Straker] Mon frere! [He embraces
him rapturously and kisses him on both cheeks].
STRAKER. [disgusted] Ere, git out: don't be silly. Who are you, pray?
DUVAL. Duval: Social-Democrat.
STRAKER. Oh, you're a Social-Democrat, are you?
THE ANARCHIST. He means that he has sold out to the parliamentary
humbugs and the bourgeoisie. Compromise! that is his faith.
DUVAL. [furiously] I understand what he say. He say Bourgeois. He say
Compromise. Jamais de la vie! Miserable menteur--
STRAKER. See here, Captain Mendoza, ow much o this sort o thing do you
put up with here? Are we avin a pleasure trip in the mountains, or are
we at a Socialist meetin?
THE MAJORITY. Hear, hear! Shut up. Chuck it. Sit down, etc. etc. [The
Social-Democrats and the Anarchist are hurtled into the background.
Straker, after superintending this proceeding with satisfaction, places
himself on Mendoza's left, Tanner being on his right].
MENDOZA. Can we offer you anything? Broiled rabbit and prickly pears--
TANNER. Thank you: we have dined.
MENDOZA. [to his followers] Gentlemen: business is over for the day. Go
as you please until morning.
The Brigands disperse into groups lazily. Some go into the cave. Others
sit down or lie down to sleep in the open. A few produce a pack of cards
and move off towards the road; for it is now starlight; and they know
that motor cars have lamps which can be turned to account for lighting a
card party.
STRAKER. [calling after them] Don't none of you go fooling with that
car, d'ye hear?
MENDOZA. No fear, Monsieur le Chauffeur. The first one we captured cured
us of that.
STRAKER. [interested] What did it do?
MENDOZA. It carried three brave comrades of ours, who did not know how
to stop it, into Granada, and capsized them opposite the police station.
Since then we never touch one without sending for the chauffeur. Shall
we chat at our ease?
TANNER. By all means.
Tanner, Mendoza, and Straker sit down on the turf by the fire. Mendoza
delicately waives his presidential dignity, of which the right to sit on
the squared stone block is the appanage, by sitting on the ground like
his guests, and using the stone only as a support for his back.
MENDOZA. It is the custom in Spain always to put off business until
to-morrow. In fact, you have arrived out of office hours. However, if
you would prefer to settle the question of ransom at once, I am at your
service.
TANNER. To-morrow will do for me. I am rich enough to pay anything in
reason.
MENDOZA. [respectfully, much struck by this admission] You are a
remarkable man, sir. Our guests usually describe themselves as miserably
poor.
TANNER. Pooh! Miserably poor people don't own motor cars.
MENDOZA. Precisely what we say to them.
TANNER. Treat us well: we shall not prove ungrateful.
STRAKER. No prickly pears and broiled rabbits, you know. Don't tell me
you can't do us a bit better than that if you like.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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