“‘You may judge for yourself,’ he answered. ‘I am a man who left his
own house because he could no longer bear to be away from it.’
“‘It certainly sounds paradoxical,’ I said.
“‘I heard my wife and children talking and saw them moving about the
room,’ he continued, ‘and all the time I knew they were walking and
talking in another house thousands of miles away, under the light of
different skies, and beyond the series of the seas. I loved them with a
devouring love, because they seemed not only distant but unattainable.
Never did human creatures seem so dear and so desirable: but I seemed
like a cold ghost; therefore I cast off their dust from my feet for a
testimony. Nay, I did more. I spurned the world under my feet so that
it swung full circle like a treadmill.’
“‘Do you really mean,’ I cried, ‘that you have come right round the
world? Your speech is English, yet you are coming from the west.’
“‘My pilgrimage is not yet accomplished,’ he replied sadly. ‘I have
become a pilgrim to cure myself of being an exile.’
“Something in the word ‘pilgrim’ awoke down in the roots of my ruinous
experience memories of what my fathers had felt about the world, and of
something from whence I came. I looked again at the little pictured
lantern at which I had not looked for fourteen years.
“‘My grandmother,’ I said in a low tone, ‘would have said that we were
all in exile, and that no earthly house could cure the holy
home-sickness that forbids us rest.’
“He was silent a long while, and watched a single eagle drift out
beyond the Green Finger into the darkening void.
“Then he said, ‘I think your grandmother was right,’ and stood up
leaning on his grassy pole. ‘I think that must be the reason,’ he
said—‘the secret of this life of man, so ecstatic and so unappeased.
But I think there is more to be said. I think God has given us the love
of special places, of a hearth and of a native land, for a good
reason.’
“‘I dare say,’ I said. ‘What reason?’
“‘Because otherwise,’ he said, pointing his pole out at the sky and the
abyss, ‘we might worship that.’
“‘What do you mean?’ I demanded.
“‘Eternity,’ he said in his harsh voice, ‘the largest of the idols— the
mightiest of the rivals of God.’
“‘You mean pantheism and infinity and all that,’ I suggested.
“‘I mean,’ he said with increasing vehemence, ‘that if there be a house
for me in heaven it will either have a green lamp-post and a hedge, or
something quite as positive and personal as a green lamp-post and a
hedge. I mean that God bade me love one spot and serve it, and do all
things however wild in praise of it, so that this one spot might be a
witness against all the infinities and the sophistries, that Paradise
is somewhere and not anywhere, is something and not anything. And I
would not be so very much surprised if the house in heaven had a real
green lamp-post after all.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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