“Again, to go at once to the moral roots of life,” said Michael, “why
is it among the duties of man to communicate with old Lady Bullingdon
who lives at Penge?”
“It ain’t one of the duties of man,” said Gould, “nor one of his
pleasures, either, I can tell you. She takes the crumpet, does Lady
Bullingdon at Penge. But it’s one of the duties of a prosecutor
pursuin’ the innocent, blameless butterfly career of your friend Smith,
and it’s the sime with all the others I mentioned.”
“But why do you bring in these people here?” asked Inglewood.
“Why! Because we’ve got proof enough to sink a steamboat,” roared
Moses; “because I’ve got the papers in my very ’and; because your
precious Innocent is a blackguard and ’ome smasher, and these are the
’omes he’s smashed. I don’t set up for a ’oly man; but I wouldn’t ’ave
all those poor girls on my conscience for something. And I think a chap
that’s capable of deserting and perhaps killing ’em all is about
capable of cracking a crib or shootin’ an old schoolmaster—so I don’t
care much about the other yarns one way or another.”
“I think,” said Dr. Cyrus Pym with a refined cough, “that we are
approaching this matter rather irregularly. This is really the fourth
charge on the charge sheet, and perhaps I had better put it before you
in an ordered and scientific manner.”
Nothing but a faint groan from Michael broke the silence of the
darkening room.
Chapter IV
The Wild Weddings; or, the Polygamy Charge
“A modern man,” said Dr. Cyrus Pym, “must, if he be thoughtful,
approach the problem of marriage with some caution. Marriage is a
stage—doubtless a suitable stage—in the long advance of mankind towards
a goal which we cannot as yet conceive; which we are not, perhaps, as
yet fitted even to desire. What, gentlemen, is the ethical position of
marriage? Have we outlived it?”
“Outlived it?” broke out Moon; “why, nobody’s ever survived it! Look at
all the people married since Adam and Eve—and all as dead as mutton.”
“This is no doubt an inter-pellation joc’lar in its character,” said
Dr. Pym frigidly. “I cannot tell what may be Mr. Moon’s matured and
ethical view of marriage—”
“I can tell,” said Michael savagely, out of the gloom. “Marriage is a
duel to the death, which no man of honour should decline.”
“Michael,” said Arthur Inglewood in a low voice, “you MUST keep quiet.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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