“Oh, crikey!” said Moses Gould, stifled with amusement.
“There could hardly,” interposed Pym with a quiet smile, “be a better
instance of the neglect of true scientific process. The scientist, when
once convinced of the fact of vitality and consciousness, would infer
from these the previous process of generation.”
“If these gals,” said Gould impatiently—“if these gals were all alive
(all alive O!) I’d chance a fiver they were all born.”
“You’d lose your fiver,” said Michael, speaking gravely out of the
gloom. “All those admirable ladies were alive. They were more alive for
having come into contact with Smith. They were all quite definitely
alive, but only one of them was ever born.”
“Are you asking us to believe—” began Dr. Pym.
“I am asking you a second question,” said Moon sternly. “Can the court
now sitting throw any light on a truly singular circumstance? Dr. Pym,
in his interesting lecture on what are called, I believe, the relations
of the sexes, said that Smith was the slave of a lust for variety which
would lead a man first to a negress and then to an albino, first to a
Patagonian giantess and then to a tiny Eskimo. But is there any
evidence of such variety here? Is there any trace of a gigantic
Patagonian in the story? Was the typewriter an Eskimo? So picturesque a
circumstance would not surely have escaped remark. Was Lady
Bullingdon’s dressmaker a negress? A voice in my bosom answers, ‘No!’
Lady Bullingdon, I am sure, would think a negress so conspicuous as to
be almost Socialistic, and would feel something a little rakish even
about an albino.
“But was there in Smith’s taste any such variety as the learned doctor
describes? So far as our slight materials go, the very opposite seems
to be the case. We have only one actual description of any of the
prisoner’s wives— the short but highly poetic account by the aesthetic
curate. ‘Her dress was the colour of spring, and her hair of autumn
leaves.’ Autumn leaves, of course, are of various colours, some of
which would be rather startling in hair (green, for instance); but I
think such an expression would be most naturally used of the shades
from red-brown to red, especially as ladies with their coppery-coloured
hair do frequently wear light artistic greens. Now when we come to the
next wife, we find the eccentric lover, when told he is a donkey,
answering that donkeys always go after carrots; a remark which Lady
Bullingdon evidently regarded as pointless and part of the natural
table-talk of a village idiot, but which has an obvious meaning if we
suppose that Polly’s hair was red. Passing to the next wife, the one he
took from the girls’ school, we find Miss Gridley noticing that the
schoolgirl in question wore ‘a reddish-brown dress, that went quietly
enough with the warmer colour of her hair.’ In other words, the colour
of the girl’s hair was something redder than red-brown. Lastly, the
romantic organ-grinder declaimed in the office some poetry that only
got as far as the words,—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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