“It was at this moment that Smith, looking down, perceived apoplectic
terror upon the face of the Sub-Warden, and heard the refined shriek
with which he summoned the porter and the ladder.
“It took Dr. Eames some little time to disentangle himself from the
ladder, and some little time longer to disentangle himself from the
Sub-Warden. But as soon as he could do so unobtrusively, he rejoined
his companion in the late extraordinary scene. He was astonished to
find the gigantic Smith heavily shaken, and sitting with his shaggy
head on his hands. When addressed, he lifted a very pale face.
“‘Why, what is the matter?’ asked Eames, whose own nerves had by this
time twittered themselves quiet, like the morning birds.
“‘I must ask your indulgence,’ said Smith, rather brokenly. ‘I must ask
you to realize that I have just had an escape from death.’
“‘YOU have had an escape from death?’ repeated the Professor in not
unpardonable irritation. ‘Well, of all the cheek—’
“‘Oh, don’t you understand, don’t you understand?’ cried the pale young
man impatiently. ‘I had to do it, Eames; I had to prove you wrong or
die. When a man’s young, he nearly always has some one whom he thinks
the top-water mark of the mind of man— some one who knows all about it,
if anybody knows.
“‘Well, you were that to me; you spoke with authority, and not as the
scribes. Nobody could comfort me if YOU said there was no comfort. If
you really thought there was nothing anywhere, it was because you had
been there to see. Don’t you see that I HAD to prove you didn’t really
mean it?— or else drown myself in the canal.’
“‘Well,’ said Eames hesitatingly, ‘I think perhaps you confuse—’
“‘Oh, don’t tell me that!’ cried Smith with the sudden clairvoyance of
mental pain; ‘don’t tell me I confuse enjoyment of existence with the
Will to Live! That’s German, and German is High Dutch, and High Dutch
is Double Dutch. The thing I saw shining in your eyes when you dangled
on that bridge was enjoyment of life and not “the Will to Live.” What
you knew when you sat on that damned gargoyle was that the world, when
all is said and done, is a wonderful and beautiful place; I know it,
because I knew it at the same minute. I saw the gray clouds turn pink,
and the little gilt clock in the crack between the houses. It was THOSE
things you hated leaving, not Life, whatever that is. Eames, we’ve been
to the brink of death together; won’t you admit I’m right?’
“‘Yes,’ said Eames very slowly, ‘I think you are right. You shall have
a First!’
“‘Right!’ cried Smith, springing up reanimated. ‘I’ve passed with
honours, and now let me go and see about being sent down.’
“‘You needn’t be sent down,’ said Eames with the quiet confidence of
twelve years of intrigue. ‘Everything with us comes from the man on top
to the people just round him: I am the man on top, and I shall tell the
people round me the truth.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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