“The massive Mr. Smith rose and went firmly to the window, but he spoke
with equal firmness. ‘I must be sent down,’ he said, ‘and the people
must not be told the truth.’
“‘And why not’ asked the other.
“‘Because I mean to follow your advice,’ answered the massive youth, ‘I
mean to keep the remaining shots for people in the shameful state you
and I were in last night—I wish we could even plead drunkenness. I mean
to keep those bullets for pessimists—pills for pale people. And in this
way I want to walk the world like a wonderful surprise— to float as
idly as the thistledown, and come as silently as the sunrise; not to be
expected any more than the thunderbolt, not to be recalled any more
than the dying breeze. I don’t want people to anticipate me as a
well-known practical joke. I want both my gifts to come virgin and
violent, the death and the life after death. I am going to hold a
pistol to the head of the Modern Man. But I shall not use it to kill
him—only to bring him to life. I begin to see a new meaning in being
the skeleton at the feast.’
“‘You can scarcely be called a skeleton,’ said Dr. Eames, smiling.
“‘That comes of being so much at the feast,’ answered the massive
youth. ‘No skeleton can keep his figure if he is always dining out. But
that is not quite what I meant: what I mean is that I caught a kind of
glimpse of the meaning of death and all that—the skull and cross-bones,
the _memento mori_. It isn’t only meant to remind us of a future life,
but to remind us of a present life too. With our weak spirits we should
grow old in eternity if we were not kept young by death. Providence has
to cut immortality into lengths for us, as nurses cut the bread and
butter into fingers.’
“Then he added suddenly in a voice of unnatural actuality, ‘But I know
something now, Eames. I knew it when I saw the clouds turn pink.’
“‘What do you mean?’ asked Eames. ‘What did you know?’
“‘I knew for the first time that murder is really wrong.’
“He gripped Dr. Eames’s hand and groped his way somewhat unsteadily to
the door. Before he had vanished through it he had added, ‘It’s very
dangerous, though, when a man thinks for a split second that he
understands death.’
“Dr. Eames remained in repose and rumination some hours after his late
assailant had left. Then he rose, took his hat and umbrella, and went
for a brisk if rotatory walk. Several times, however, he stood outside
the villa with the spotted blinds, studying them intently with his head
slightly on one side. Some took him for a lunatic and some for an
intending purchaser. He is not yet sure that the two characters would
be widely different.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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