The little Yankee had slipped to his feet with some return of a
cock-fighting coolness. “The defence,” he said, “omits a coldly
colossal fact. They say we produce none of the actual victims. Wal,
here is one victim—England’s celebrated and stricken Warner. I reckon
he is pretty well produced. And they suggest that all the outrages were
followed by reconciliation. Wal, there’s no flies on England’s Warner;
and he isn’t reconciliated much.”
“My learned friend,” said Moon, getting elaborately to his feet, “must
remember that the science of shooting Dr. Warner is in its infancy. Dr.
Warner would strike the idlest eye as one specially difficult to
startle into any recognition of the glory of God. We admit that our
client, in this one instance, failed, and that the operation was not
successful. But I am empowered to offer, on behalf of my client, a
proposal for operating on Dr. Warner again, at his earliest
convenience, and without further fees.”
“’Ang it all, Michael,” cried Gould, quite serious for the first time
in his life, “you might give us a bit of bally sense for a chinge.”
“What was Dr. Warner talking about just before the first shot?” asked
Moon sharply.
“The creature,” said Dr. Warner superciliously, “asked me, with
characteristic rationality, whether it was my birthday.”
“And you answered, with characteristic swank,” cried Moon, shooting out
a long lean finger, as rigid and arresting as the pistol of Smith,
“that you didn’t keep your birthday.”
“Something like that,” assented the doctor.
“Then,” continued Moon, “he asked you why not, and you said it was
because you didn’t see that birth was anything to rejoice over. Agreed?
Now is there any one who doubts that our tale is true?”
There was a cold crash of stillness in the room; and Moon said, “Pax
populi vox Dei; it is the silence of the people that is the voice of
God. Or in Dr. Pym’s more civilized language, it is up to him to open
the next charge. On this we claim an acquittal.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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