“If Mr. Moon will have patience,” said Pym with dignity, “he will find
that this was the very point to which my exposition was di-rected.
Kleptomania, I say, exhibits itself as a kind of physical attraction to
certain defined materials; and it has been held (by no less a man than
Harris) that this is the ultimate explanation of the strict specialism
and vurry narrow professional outlook of most criminals. One will have
an irresistible physical impulsion towards pearl sleeve-links, while he
passes over the most elegant and celebrated diamond sleeve-links,
placed about in the most conspicuous locations. Another will impede his
flight with no less than forty-seven buttoned boots, while
elastic-sided boots leave him cold, and even sarcastic. The specialism
of the criminal, I repeat, is a mark rather of insanity than of any
brightness of business habits; but there is one kind of depredator to
whom this principle is at first sight hard to apply. I allude to our
fellow-citizen the housebreaker.
“It has been maintained by some of our boldest young truth-seekers,
that the eye of a burglar beyond the back-garden wall could hardly be
caught and hypnotized by a fork that is insulated in a locked box under
the butler’s bed. They have thrown down the gauntlet to American
science on this point. They declare that diamond links are not left
about in conspicuous locations in the haunts of the lower classes, as
they were in the great test experiment of Calypso College. We hope this
experiment here will be an answer to that young ringing challenge, and
will bring the burglar once more into line and union with his fellow
criminals.”
Moon, whose face had gone through every phase of black bewilderment for
five minutes past, suddenly lifted his hand and struck the table in
explosive enlightenment.
“Oh, I see!” he cried; “you mean that Smith is a burglar.”
“I thought I made it quite ad’quately lucid,” said Mr. Pym, folding up
his eyelids. It was typical of this topsy-turvy private trial that all
the eloquent extras, all the rhetoric or digression on either side, was
exasperating and unintelligible to the other. Moon could not make head
or tail of the solemnity of a new civilization. Pym could not make head
or tail of the gaiety of an old one.
“All the cases in which Smith has figured as an expropriator,”
continued the American doctor, “are cases of burglary. Pursuing the
same course as in the previous case, we select the indubitable instance
from the rest, and we take the most correct cast-iron evidence. I will
now call on my colleague, Mr. Gould, to read a letter we have received
from the earnest, unspotted Canon of Durham, Canon Hawkins.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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