“‘I know there’s a fellow called Smith,’ he said in his rather weird
way, ‘living in one of the tall houses in this terrace. I know he is
really happy, and yet I can never catch him at it.’
“Sometimes he would, of a sudden, treat his wife with a kind of
paralyzed politeness, like a young stranger struck with love at first
sight. Sometimes he would extend this poetic fear to the very
furniture; would seem to apologize to the chair he sat on, and climb
the staircase as cautiously as a cragsman, to renew in himself the
sense of their skeleton of reality. Every stair is a ladder and every
stool a leg, he said. And at other times he would play the stranger
exactly in the opposite sense, and would enter by another way, so as to
feel like a thief and a robber. He would break and violate his own
home, as he had done with me that night. It was near morning before I
could tear myself from this queer confidence of the Man Who Would Not
Die, and as I shook hands with him on the doorstep the last load of fog
was lifting, and rifts of daylight revealed the stairway of irregular
street levels that looked like the end of the world.
“It will be enough for many to say that I had passed a night with a
maniac. What other term, it will be said, could be applied to such a
being? A man who reminds himself that he is married by pretending not
to be married! A man who tries to covet his own goods instead of his
neighbor’s! On this I have but one word to say, and I feel it of my
honour to say it, though no one understands. I believe the maniac was
one of those who do not merely come, but are sent; sent like a great
gale upon ships by Him who made His angels winds and His messengers a
flaming fire. This, at least, I know for certain. Whether such men have
laughed or wept, we have laughed at their laughter as much as at their
weeping. Whether they cursed or blessed the world, they have never
fitted it. It is true that men have shrunk from the sting of a great
satirist as if from the sting of an adder. But it is equally true that
men flee from the embrace of a great optimist as from the embrace of a
bear. Nothing brings down more curses than a real benediction. For the
goodness of good things, like the badness of bad things, is a prodigy
past speech; it is to be pictured rather than spoken. We shall have
gone deeper than the deeps of heaven and grown older than the oldest
angels before we feel, even in its first faint vibrations, the
everlasting violence of that double passion with which God hates and
loves the world.—I am, yours faithfully, “Raymond Percy.”
“Oh, ’oly, ’oly, ’oly!” said Mr. Moses Gould.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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