"But when she had completed her tender task, with what ardour did I not
enter upon mine! I took off my clothes and stretched them under her,
to render more endurable the hard and rugged ground on which she lay.
I protected her delicate hands from the cold by my burning kisses and
the warmth of my sighs. I passed the livelong night in watching over
her as she slept, and praying Heaven to refresh her with soft and
undisturbed repose. 'You can bear witness, just and all-seeing God! to
the fervour and sincerity of those prayers, and Thou alone knowest with
what awful rigour they were rejected.'
"You will excuse me, if I now cut short a story which it distresses me
beyond endurance to relate. It is, I believe, a calamity without
parallel. I can never cease to deplore it. But although it continues,
of course, deeply and indelibly impressed on my memory, yet my heart
seems to shrink within me each time that I attempt the recital.
"We had thus tranquilly passed the night. I had fondly imagined that
my beloved mistress was in a profound sleep, and I hardly dared to
breathe lest I should disturb her. As day broke, I observed that her
hands were cold and trembling; I pressed them to my bosom in the hope
of restoring animation. This movement roused her attention, and making
an effort to grasp my hand, she said, in a feeble voice, that she
thought her last moments had arrived.
"I, at first, took this for a passing weakness, or the ordinary
language of distress; and I answered with the usual consolations that
love prompted. But her incessant sighs, her silence, and inattention
to my enquiries, the convulsed grasp of her hands, in which she
retained mine, soon convinced me that the crowning end of all my
miseries was approaching.
"Do not now expect me to attempt a description of my feelings, or to
repeat her dying expressions. I lost her--I received the purest
assurances of her love even at the very instant that her spirit fled.
I have not nerve to say more upon this fatal and disastrous event.
"My spirit was not destined to accompany Manon's. Doubtless, Heaven
did not as yet consider me sufficiently punished, and therefore
ordained that I should continue to drag on a languid and joyless
existence. I willingly renounced every hope of leading a happy one.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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