"M. de T---- minutely adhered to these directions. I left him in a
cafe, where he at once wrote his letter. I took my station close by
Manon's house. I saw de T----'s messenger arrive, and G---- M---- come
out the next moment, followed by a servant. Allowing him barely time to
get out of the street, I advanced to my deceiver's door, and
notwithstanding the anger I felt, I knocked with as much respect as at
the portal of a church. Fortunately it was Marcel who opened for me.
Although I had nothing to apprehend from the other servants, I asked
him in a low voice if he could conduct me unseen into the room in which
Manon was. He said that was easily done, by merely ascending the great
staircase. 'Come then at once,' said I to him, 'and endeavour to
prevent anyone from coming up while I am there.' I reached the
apartment without any difficulty.
"Manon was reading. I had there an opportunity of admiring the
singular character of this girl. Instead of being nervous or alarmed
at my appearance, she scarcely betrayed a symptom of surprise, which
few persons, however indifferent, could restrain, on seeing one whom
they imagined to be far distant. 'Ah! it is you, my dear love,' said
she, approaching to embrace me with her usual tenderness. 'Good
heavens, how venturesome and foolhardy you are! Who could have
expected to see you in this place!' Instead of embracing her in return,
I repulsed her with indignation, and retreated two or three paces from
her. This evidently disconcerted her. She remained immovable, and
fixed her eyes on me, while she changed colour.
"I was in reality so delighted to behold her once more, that, with so
much real cause for anger, I could hardly bring my lips to upbraid her.
My heart, however, felt the cruel outrage she had inflicted upon me. I
endeavoured to revive the recollection of it in my own mind, in order
to excite my feelings, and put on a look of stern indignation. I
remained silent for a few moments, when I remarked that she observed my
agitation, and trembled: apparently the effect of her fears.
"I could not longer endure this spectacle. 'Ah! Manon,' said I to her
in the mildest tone, 'faithless and perjured Manon! How am I to
complain of your conduct? I see you pale and trembling, and I am still
so much alive to your slightest sufferings, that I am unwilling to add
to them by my reproaches. But, Manon, I tell you that my heart is
pierced with sorrow at your treatment of me--treatment that is seldom
inflicted but with the purpose of destroying one's life. This is the
third time, Manon; I have kept a correct account; it is impossible to
forget that. It is now for you to consider what course you will adopt;
for my afflicted heart is no longer capable of sustaining such shocks.
I know and feel that it must give way, and it is at this moment ready
to burst with grief. I can say no more,' added I, throwing myself into
a chair; 'I have hardly strength to speak, or to support myself.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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