England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction; Sea stories, English
“What’s the bet?” inquired the mate, looking up from his task of
shredding tobacco.
“Five quid,” replied the skipper.
“Well, we ought to do it,” said the mate slowly; “’t won’t be my fault
if we don’t.”
“Mine neither,” said the skipper. “As a matter o’ fact, Joe, I reckon
I’ve about made sure of it. All’s fair in love and war and racing,
Joe.”
“Ay, ay,” said the mate, more slowly than before, as he revolved this
addition to the proverb.
“I just nipped round and saw a chap I used to know named Dibbs,” said
the skipper. “Keeps a boarding-house for sailors. Wonderful sharp
little chap he is. Needles ain’t nothing to him. There’s heaps of
needles, but only one Dibbs. He’s going to make old Berrow’s chaps as
drunk as lords.”
“Does he know ’em?” inquired the mate.
“He knows where to find ’em,” said the other. “I told him they’d either
be in the ‘Duke’s Head’ or the ‘Town o’ Berwick.’ But he’d find ’em
wherever they was. Ah, even if they was in a coffee pallis, I b’leeve
that man ’ud find ’em.”
“They’re steady chaps,” objected the mate, but in a weak fashion, being
somewhat staggered by this tribute to Mr. Dibbs’ remarkable powers.
“My lad,” said the skipper, “it’s Dibbs’ business to mix sailors’
liquors so’s they don’t know whether they’re standing on their heads or
their heels. He’s the most wonderful mixer in Christendom; takes a
reg’lar pride in it. Many a sailorman has got up a ship’s side,
thinking it was stairs, and gone off half acrost the world instead of
going to bed, through him.”
“We’ll have a easy job of it, then,” said the mate. “I b’leeve we could
ha’ managed it without that, though. ’Tain’t quite what you’d call
sport, is it?”
“There’s nothing like making sure of a thing,” said the skipper
placidly. “What time’s our chaps coming aboard?”
“Ten thirty, the latest,” replied the mate. “Old Sam’s with ’em, so
they’ll be all right.”
“I’ll turn in for a couple of hours,” said the skipper, going towards
his berth. “Lord! I’d give something to see old Berrow’s face as his
chaps come up the side.”
“P’raps they won’t git as far as that,” remarked the mate.
“Oh, yes they will,” said the skipper. “Dibbs is going to see to that.
I don’t want any chance of the race being scratched. Turn me out in a
couple of hours.”
He closed the door behind him, and the mate, having stuffed his clay
with the coarse tobacco, took some pink note-paper with scalloped edges
from his drawer, and, placing the paper at his right side, and squaring
his shoulders, began some private correspondence.
For some time he smoked and wrote in silence, until the increasing
darkness warned him to finish his task. He signed the note, and, having
put a few marks of a tender nature below his signature, sealed it ready
for the post, and sat with half-closed eyes, finishing his pipe. Then
his head nodded, and, placing his arms on the table, he too slept.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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