England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction; Sea stories, English
The waterman ceased rowing, and, as his boat came alongside the
schooner, held out his hand to his passenger, who had already commenced
to scramble up the side, and demanded his fare. It was handed down to
him.
“It’s all right, then,” said the fare, as he stood on the deck and
closed his eyes to the painful language in which the waterman was
addressing him. “Nobody been inquiring for me?”
“Not a soul,” said the mate. “What’s all the row about?”
“Well, you see, it’s this way,” said the master of the _Frolic_,
dropping his voice. “I’ve been taking a little too much notice of a
little craft down Battersea way—nice little thing, an’ she thought I
was a single man, d’ye see?”
The mate sucked his teeth.
“She introduced me to her brother as a single man,” continued the
skipper. “He asked me when the banns was to be put up, an’ I didn’t
like to tell him I was a married man with a family.”
“Why not?” asked the mate.
“He’s a prize-fighter,” said the other, in awe-inspiring tones; “‘the
Battersea Bruiser.’ Consequently when he clapped me on the back, and
asked me when the banns was to be, I only smiled.”
“What did he do?” inquired the mate, who was becoming interested.
“Put ’em up,” groaned the skipper, “an’ we all went to church to hear
’em. Talk o’ people walking over your grave, George, it’s nothing to
what I felt—nothing. I felt a hypocrite, almost. Somehow he found out
about me, and I’ve been hiding ever since I sent you that note. He told
a pal he was going to give me a licking, and come down to Fairhaven
with us and make mischief between me and the missis.”
“That ’ud be worse than the licking,” said the mate sagely.
“Ah! and she’d believe him afore she would me, too, an’ we’ve been
married seventeen years,” said the skipper mournfully.
“Perhaps that’s”—began the mate, and stopped suddenly.
“Perhaps what?” inquired the other, after waiting a reasonable time for
him to finish.
“H’m, I forgot what I was going to say,” said the mate. “Funny, it’s
gone now. Well, you’re all right now. You’d intended this to be the
last trip to London for some time.”
“Yes, that’s what made me a bit more loving than I should ha’ been,”
mused the skipper. “However, all’s well that ends well. How did you get
on about the cook? Did you ship one?”
“Yes, I’ve got one, but he’s only signed as far as Fairhaven,” replied
the mate. “Fine strong chap he is. He’s too good for a cook. I never
saw a better built man in my life. It’ll do your eyes good to look at
him. Here, cook!”
At the summons a huge, close-cropped head was thrust out of the galley,
and a man of beautiful muscular development stepped out before the eyes
of the paralyzed skipper, and began to remove his coat.
“Ain’t he a fine chap?” said the mate admiringly. “Show him your
biceps, cook.”
With a leer at the captain the cook complied. He then doubled his
fists, and, ducking his head scientifically, danced all round the
stupefied master of the _Frolic_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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