England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction; Sea stories, English
The morning passed quietly, the skipper striving to look unconcerned as
the new cook grimly brought the dinner down to the cabin and set it
before him. After toying with it a little while, the master of the
_Frolic_ dined off buttered biscuit.
It was a matter of much discomfort to the crew that the new cook took
his duties very seriously, and prided himself on his cooking. He was,
moreover, disposed to be inconveniently punctilious about the way in
which his efforts were regarded. For the first day the crew ate in
silence, but at dinner-time on the second the storm broke.
“What are yer looking at your vittles like that for?” inquired the
“Bruiser” of Sam Dowse, as that able-bodied seaman sat with his plate
in his lap, eyeing it with much disfavour. “That ain’t the way to look
at your food, after I’ve been perspiring away all the morning cooking
it.”
“Yes, you’ve cooked yourself instead of the meat,” said Sam warmly.
“It’s a shame to spoil good food like that; it’s quite raw.”
“You eat it!” said the “Bruiser” fiercely; “that’s wot you’ve got to do.
Eat it!”
For sole answer the indignant Sam threw a piece at him, and the rest of
the crew, snatching up their dinners, hurriedly clambered into their
bunks and viewed the fray from a safe distance.
“Have you ’ad enough?” inquired the “Bruiser,” addressing the head of
Sam, which protruded from beneath his left arm.
“I ’ave,” said Sam surlily.
“And you won’t turn up your nose at good vittles any more?” inquired
the “Bruiser” severely.
“I won’t turn it up at anything,” said Sam earnestly, as he tenderly
felt the member in question.
“You’re the only one as ’as complained,” said the “Bruiser.” “You’re
dainty, that’s wot you are. Look at the others—look how they’re eating
theirs!”
At this hint the others came out of their bunks and fell to, and the
“Bruiser” became affable.
“It’s wonderful wot I can turn my ’and to,” he remarked pleasantly.
“Things come natural to me that other men have to learn. You’d better
put a bit of raw beef on that eye o’ yours, Sam.”
The thoughtless Sam clapped on a piece from his plate, and it was only
by the active intercession of the rest of the crew that the sensitive
cook was prevented from inflicting more punishment.
From this time forth the “Bruiser” ruled the roost, and, his temper
soured by his trials, ruled it with a rod of iron. The crew, with the
exception of Dowse, were small men getting into years, and quite unable
to cope with him. His attitude with the skipper was dangerously
deferential, and the latter was sorely perplexed to think of a way out
of the mess in which he found himself.
“He means business, George,” he said one day to the mate, as he saw the
“Bruiser” watching him intently from the galley.
“He looks at you worse an’ worse,” was the mate’s cheering reply. “The
cooking’s spoiling what little temper he’s got left as fast as
possible.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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