England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction; Sea stories, English
He was still thinking deeply as he boarded the train for London next
morning, and watched Sunset Bay from the window until it disappeared
round the curve. So many and various were the changes that flitted over
his face that an old lady, whose seat he had taken, gave up her
intention of apprising him of the fact, and indulged instead in a
bitter conversation with her daughter, of which the erring Pepper was
the unconscious object.
In the same preoccupied fashion he got on a Bayswater omnibus, and
waited patiently for it to reach Poplar. Strange changes in the
landscape, not to be accounted for by the mere lapse of time, led to
explanations, and the conductor—a humane man, who said he had got an
idiot boy at home—personally laid down the lines of his tour. Two hours
later he stood in front of a small house painted in many colours, and,
ringing the bell, inquired for Cap’n Crippen.
In response to his inquiry, a big man, with light blue eyes and a long
grey beard, appeared, and, recognising his visitor with a grunt of
surprise, drew him heartily into the passage and thrust him into the
parlour. He then shook hands with him, and, clapping him on the back,
bawled lustily for the small boy who had opened the door.
“Pot o’ stout, bottle o’ gin, and two long pipes,” said he, as the boy
came to the door and eyed the ex-pilot curiously.
At all these honest preparations for his welcome the heart of Jackson
grew faint within him.
“Well, I call it good of you to come all this way to see me,” said the
captain, after the boy had disappeared; “but you always was
warm-hearted, Pepper. And how’s the missis?”
“Shocking!” said Pepper, with a groan.
“Ill?” inquired the captain.
“Ill-tempered,” said Pepper. “In fact, cap’n, I don’t mind telling you,
she’s killing me—slowly killing me!”
“Pooh!” said Crippen. “Nonsense! You don’t know how to manage her!”
“I thought perhaps you could advise me,” said the artful Pepper. “I
said to myself yesterday, ‘Pepper, go and see Cap’n Crippen. What he
don’t know about wimmen and their management ain’t worth knowing! If
there’s anybody can get you out of a hole, it’s him. He’s got the
power, and, what’s more, he’s got the will!’”
“What causes the temper?” inquired the captain, with his most judicial
air, as he took the liquor from his messenger and carefully filled a
couple of glasses.
“It’s natural!” said his friend ruefully. “She calls it having a high
spirit herself. And she’s so generous. She’s got a married niece living
in the place, and when that gal comes round and admires the things—my
things—she gives ’em to her! She gave her a sofa the other day, and,
what’s more, she made me help the gal to carry it home!”
“Have you tried being sarcastic?” inquired the captain thoughtfully.
“I have,” said Pepper, with a shiver. “The other day I said, very
nasty, ‘Is there anything else you’d like, my dear?’ but she didn’t
understand it.”
“No?” said the captain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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