“Precisely,” put in David, “that particular ignominy is reserved for me. But suppose she doesn’t accept you.” “That’s hardly worth supposing. It’s as good as understood between us, I think, that she will accept me.” “But then suppose she jilts you, after you disclose to her that you are not plain Mr. Linkhaw.” “If that’s well managed, I’m not afraid of it, either. You see, her father’s not an out-and-out American. He was really born in England, and went out there as a boy. That’s a very curious thing, you know. Englishmen who go there, and like the place, get to be more American than the Yankees are themselves. But they don’t change their blood, do they? And women are pretty much alike, too, whatever their blood may be. They’re all organised to stand a coronet on the corner of their pocket handkerchiefs. No, it’ll be all right, if only you stay by me.” “Ah, now we come to realities,” said Moss-crop, genially. “It’ll be rather an expensive business, Archie. I have very high notions, my friend, as to the scale on which an Earl should comport himself. I could not dream of doing the thing on the thrifty and contracted basis which suits you. The task is a difficult one to me. I shall have to sit and look entirely devoid of mental sensations of any sort for hours at a time. I know nothing of football and cricket, and have not the name of a single jockey on my tongue; this will render conversation an embarrassing matter for me. I shall suffer continually from the knowledge that I am being regarded as a vicious fool, a rake, a gambler, and libertine of the most heartless description, and this will wear a good deal on my nerves. Compensation of some sort I must have. Now, I entertain the theory that a nobleman should never have any small change about him at all. Tips to waiters I would make a great point of. They should invariably be of gold. To slip a sovereign into a hall-porter’s hand is also a valuable action. His subsequent demeanour gives the cue to the attitude of the whole visible world toward you. A four-in-hand to Brighton is good substantial form, too, if enough pains be taken with the outfit. A private hansom in town is, of course, indispensable. I realise, Archie,” he concluded’ apologetically, “that I am not displaying a specially comprehensive grasp of the requirements of rank. I can only think of a few things now, on the spur of the moment; but I will concentrate all my energies on the task once I take it up in earnest. You may trust me to rise to the occasion. I will be a nobleman that mere baronets will turn round in the street to look after.” Drumpipes exhibited a wan and troubled smile. “You’d have your joke, Davie, out of any man’s distress,” he said, weakly. “Joke!” cried Mosscrop. “You make a woful error there, Archie. Never was man more serious.”