Authors, American -- 19th century -- Biography; Feminists -- United States -- Biography; Fuller, Margaret, 1810-1850
"The place where we live is old and dilapidated, but in a situation of
great natural loveliness. When there I am perfectly secluded, yet every
one I wish to see comes to see me, and I can get to the centre of the
city in half an hour. Here is all affection for me and desire to make me
at home; and I do feel so, which could scarcely have been expected from
such an arrangement. My room is delightful; how I wish you could sit at
its window with me, and see the sails glide by!
"As to the public part, that is entirely satisfactory. I do just as I
please, and as much and as little as I please, and the editors express
themselves perfectly satisfied, and others say that my pieces _tell_ to
a degree I could not expect. I think, too, I shall do better and better.
I am truly interested in this great field which opens before me, and it
is pleasant to be sure of a chance at half a hundred thousand readers."
The enlargement spoken of above was found by Margaret in her more varied
field of literary action, and in the society of a city which had, even
at that date, a cosmopolitan, semi-European character.
New York has always, with a little grumbling, conceded to Boston the
palm of literary precedence. In spite of this, there has always been a
good degree of friendly intercourse among its busy _littérateurs_ and
artists, who find, in the more vivid movement and wider market of the
larger city, a compensation, if not an equivalent, for its distance from
the recognized centres of intellectual influence.
In these circles Margaret was not only a welcome, but a desired guest.
In the _salons_ of the time she had the position of a celebrity. Here,
as elsewhere, her twofold magnetism strongly attracted some and repelled
others. Somewhat hypercritical and pedantic she was judged to be by
those who observed her at a distance, or heard from her only a chance
remark. Such an observer, admiring but not approaching, saw at times the
look of the sibyl flash from beneath Margaret's heavy eyelids; and once,
hearing her sigh deeply after a social evening, was moved to ask her
why. "Alone, as usual!" was Margaret's answer, with one or two pathetic
words, the remembrance of which brought tears to the eyes of the person
to whom they were spoken.
In these days she wrote in her journal:--
"There comes a consciousness that I have no real hold on life,--no real,
permanent connection with any soul. I seem a wandering Intelligence,
driven from spot to spot, that I may learn all secrets, and fulfil a
circle of knowledge. This thought envelops me as a cold atmosphere."
From this chill isolation of feeling Margaret was sometimes relieved by
the warm appreciation of those whom she had truly found, of whom one
could say to her: "You come like one of the great powers of nature,
harmonizing with all beauty of the soul or of the earth. You cannot be
discordant with anything that is true or deep."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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