England -- Fiction; Love stories; Male friendship -- Fiction; Quakers -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
"Mine, I think, was so soft just then that the half of his sweet
things would have ravished it from my bosom. But I feel for myself
that there are two parts in me. Though the one can melt away, and
pass altogether from my control, can gush like water that runs
out and cannot be checked, the other has something in it of hard
substance which can stand against blows, even from him."
"What is that something, Marion?"
"Nay, I cannot name it. I think it be another heart, of finer
substance, or it may be it is woman's pride, which will suffer all
things rather than hurt the one it loves. I know myself. No words
from him,--no desire to see his joy, as he would be joyful, if I told
him that I could give him all he asks,--no longing for all his love
could do for me, shall move me one tittle. He shall tell himself to
his dying day that the Quaker girl, because she loved him, was true
to his interests."
"My child;--my child!" said Mrs. Roden, taking Marion in her arms.
"Do you think that I do not know,--that I have forgotten? Was it
nothing to me to see my--mother die, and her little ones? Do I not
know that I am not, as others are, free to wed, not a lord like that,
but even one of my own standing? Mrs. Roden, if I can live till my
poor father shall have gone before me, so that he may not be left
alone when the weakness of age shall have come upon him,--then,--then
I shall be satisfied to follow them. No dream of loving had ever
crossed my mind. He has come, and without my mind, the dream has been
dreamed. I think that my lot will be happier so, than if I had passed
away without any feeling such as that I have now. Perhaps he will not
marry till I am gone."
"Would that hurt you so sorely?"
"It ought not. It shall not. It will be well that he should marry,
and I will not wish to cause him evil. He will have gone away, and I
shall hardly know of it. Perhaps they will not tell me." Mrs. Roden
could only embrace her, sobbing, wiping her eyes with piteousness.
"But I will not begrudge aught of the sacrifice," she continued.
"There is nothing, I think, sweeter than to deny oneself all things
for love. What are our lessons for but to teach us that? Shall I not
do unto him as it would be well for me that some such girl should do
for my sake if I were such as he?"
"Oh, Marion, you have got the better part."
"And yet,--and yet--. I would that he should feel a little because
he cannot have the toy that has pleased his eye. What was it that he
saw in me, do you think?" As she asked the question she cheered up
wonderfully.
"The beauty of your brow and eyes,--the softness of your woman's
voice."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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