England -- Fiction; Love stories; Male friendship -- Fiction; Quakers -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
At last he heard a footfall on the road, which passed but some few
yards distant from his window, a quick, cheery, almost running
footfall, a step full of youth and life, sounding crisp on the hard
frozen ground; and he knew that the young man whom he hated had
come. Though he had never thought of murdering him,--as he told
himself,--yet he hated him. And then his thoughts, although in
opposition to his own wishes,--which were intent upon sleep, if sleep
would only come to him,--ran away to the building of other castles.
How would it have been now, now at this moment, if that plan, which
he had never really intended to carry out, which had only been a
speculation, had been a true plan and been truly executed? How would
it have been with them all now at Trafford Park? The Marchioness
would have been at any rate altogether satisfied;--but what comfort
would there have been in that to him? Lord Frederic would have been
the heir to a grand title and to vast estates;--but how would he have
been the better for that? The old lord who was lying there so sick in
the next room might probably have sunk into his grave with a broken
heart. The Marquis had of late been harsh to him; but there did come
to him an idea at the present moment that he had for thirty years
eaten the sick man's bread. And the young man would have been sent
without a moment's notice to meet his final doom! Of what nature
that might have been, the wretched man lying there did not dare even
to make a picture in his imagination. It was a matter which he had
sedulously and successfully dismissed from all his thoughts. It was
of the body lying out there in the cold, not of the journey which
the winged soul might make, that he unwillingly drew a picture to
himself. He conceived how he himself, in the prosecution of the plan
which he had formed, would have been forced to have awakened the
house, and to tell of the deed, and to assist in carrying the body to
what resting-place might have been found for it. There he would have
had to enact a part of which he had, a few hours since, told himself
that he would be capable, but in attempting which he was now sure
that he would have succumbed to the difficulties of the struggle. Who
would have broken the news to the father? Who would have attempted
to speak the first word of vain consolation? Who would have flown to
the lady's door up-stairs and have informed her that death was in
the house--and have given her to understand that the eldest of her
darlings was the heir? It would have been for him to do it all; for
him with a spirit weighed down to the ground by that terrible burden
with which the doing of such a deed would have loaded it. He would
certainly have revealed himself in the struggle!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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