Mark was getting along famously in the time-honored way, when, at this
tender stage of affairs, who should make her unwelcome appearance but
Aunt Applegate, fortunately a myopic matron, who underwent an
introduction to Mark, without seemingly noticing the confused looks of
the sentimental pair. A voluble dame luckily was Mrs. Applegate, who had
known Mark's mother and several of his dead and gone relatives, and
instantly resurrected many incidents and reminiscences connected with
the existence of those personages, thereby giving Edna time to assume a
properly demure countenance. Our budding warrior and lover, while
feigning an hypocritical interest in the conversation of the intruding
lady, would, we fear, have seen her led off to the rack or stake with
glee and gratitude. In happy unconsciousness of the kind feelings
towards her, Mrs. Applegate continued, touching upon the prevailing
topic: "So you are going to the war, Mr. Gildersleeve? Isn't it
dreadful? Dear me, I don't know how it will all end. Edna told me you
had joined the cavalry, and I think you are very sensible in doing so,
for you have a great advantage over the foot-soldiers, and if worst
comes to the worst, and matters become serious, you can, in case of
danger, always get away from it much faster. Edna said--I believe you
read it in the paper, didn't you, dear? Yes. So I thought--that you were
a lieutenant. Now I should think that was doing very well for so short a
time. Mrs. Mumbie is so worried about Decatur. He is at the Naval
School, you know, and she is afraid he may have to go and fight. She's a
Southerner, and all her sympathies are with the South," etc., etc.
Mrs. Applegate continued in this strain for some time, duly impressing
on Mark the necessity of keeping his feet dry upon all occasions, and
avoiding damp ground as a couch. She offered furthermore to present him
with a quart bottle of picra, a remedial agent of great virtue and
nastiness. "I prepared it myself, and am never without it, and wouldn't
be for anything. Mr. Applegate used to say, 'Now, Susan, if you'd only
advertise it, you'd make your fortune.' It's the very best thing in the
world to ward off chills and fever; and now I think of it, Mr.
Gildersleeve, if you could introduce it in the army, and induce the
soldiers to take it occasionally instead of their vile whiskey and
brandy, what a blessing it would be! I'm sure for my part nothing would
give me greater pleasure than to furnish the recipe. Now, if you'll bear
this in mind, and write me, I'll send it to you at any time."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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