Williams, that I lived in the country at some little distance from the
town, but that I should be there on business on the day named. I took up
my quarters at the King’s Arms the night before. It seemed very strange
to be in an inn in the place in which I was born. I retired early to my
bedroom, and looked out in the clear moonlight over the river. The
landscape seemed haunted by ghosts of my former self. At one particular
point, so well known, I stood fishing. At another, equally well known,
where the water was dangerously deep, I was examining the ice; and round
the corner was the boathouse where we kept the little craft in which I
had voyaged so many hundreds of miles on excursions upwards beyond where
the navigation ends, or, still more fascinating, down to where the water
widens and sails are to be seen, and there is a foretaste of the distant
sea. It is no pleasure to me to revisit scenes in which earlier days
have been passed. I detest the sentimental melancholy which steals over
me; the sense of the lapse of time, and the reflection that so many whom
I knew are dead. I would always, if possible, spend my holiday in some
new scene, fresh to me, and full of new interest. I slept but little,
and when the morning came, instead of carrying out my purpose of
wandering through the streets, I was so sick of the mood by which I had
been helplessly overcome, that I sat at a distance from the window in the
coffee-room, and read diligently last week’s _Bell’s Weekly Messenger_.
My reading, however, was nothing. I do not suppose I comprehended the
simplest paragraph. My thoughts were away, and I watched the clock
slowly turning towards the hour when Ellen was to call. I foresaw that I
should not be able to speak to her at the inn. If I have anything
particular to say to anybody, I can always say it so much better out of
doors. I dreaded the confinement of the room, and the necessity for
looking into her face. Under the sky, and in motion, I should be more at
liberty. At last eleven struck from the church in the square, and five
minutes afterwards the waiter entered to announce Mrs. Butts. I was
therefore right, and she was “E. B.” I was sure that I should not be
recognised. Since I saw her last I had grown a beard, my hair had got a
little grey, and she was always a little short-sighted. She came in, and
as she entered she put away over her bonnet her thick black veil. Not
ten seconds passed before she was seated on the opposite side of the
table to that on which I was sitting, but I re-read in her during those
ten seconds the whole history of years. I cannot say that externally she
looked worn or broken. I had imagined that I should see her undone with
her great troubles, but to some extent, and yet not altogether, I was
mistaken. The cheek-bones were more prominent than of old, and her
dark-brown hair drawn tightly over her forehead increased the clear
paleness of the face; the just perceptible tint of colour which I
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