towards any grown-up human being, love so pure, so imperious, so awful.
My love to Marie was love of God Himself as He is—an unrestrained
adoration of an efflux from Him, adoration transfigured into love,
because the revelation had clothed itself with a child’s form. It was,
as I say, the love of God as He is. It was not necessary, as it so often
is necessary, to qualify, to subtract, to consider the other side, to
deplore the obscurity or the earthly contamination with which the Word is
delivered to us. This was the Word itself, without even consciousness on
the part of the instrument selected for its vocalisation. I may appear
extravagant, but I can only put down what I felt and still feel. I
appeal, moreover, to Jesus Himself for justification. I had seen the
kingdom of God through a little child. I, in fact, have done nothing
more than beat out over a page in my own words what passed through His
mind when He called a little child and set him in the midst of His
disciples. How I see the meaning of those words now! and so it is that a
text will be with us for half a lifetime, recognised as great and good,
but not penetrated till the experience comes round to us in which it was
born.
Six weeks passed before the faint blue point of light which flickered on
the wick began to turn white and show some strength. At last, however,
day by day, we marked a slight accession of vitality which increased with
change of diet. Every evening when I came home I was gladdened by the
tidings which showed advance, and Ellen, I believe, was as much pleased
to see how others rejoiced over her recovery as she was pleased for her
own sake. She, too, was one of those creatures who always generously
admit improvement. For my own part, I have often noticed that when I
have been ill, and have been getting better, I have refused to
acknowledge it, and that it has been an effort to me to say that things
were not at their worst. She, however, had none of this niggardly
baseness, and always, if only for the sake of her friends, took the
cheerful side. Mrs. Taylor now left us. She left us a friend whose
friendship will last, I hope, as long as life lasts. She had seen all
our troubles and our poverty: we knew that she knew all about us: she had
helped us with the most precious help—what more was there necessary to
knit her to us?—and it is worth noting that the assistance which she
rendered, and her noble self-sacrifice, so far from putting us, in her
opinion, in her debt, only seemed to her a reason why she should be more
deeply attached to us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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