Sincerely yours, S. L. CLEMENS. The series of letters which follows was prepared by Mark Twain and General Fred Grant, mainly with a view of advertising the lecture that Clemens had agreed to deliver for the benefit of the Robert Fulton Monument Association. It was, in fact, to be Mark Twain's “farewell lecture,” and the association had really proposed to pay him a thousand dollars for it. The exchange of these letters, however, was never made outside of Mark Twain's bed-room. Propped against the pillows, pen in hand, with General Grant beside him, they arranged the series with the idea of publication. Later the plan was discarded, so that this pleasant foolery appears here for the first, time. PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL (Correspondence) Telegram Army Headquarters (date) MARK TWAIN, New York,--Would you consider a proposal to talk at Carnegie Hall for the benefit of the Robert Fulton Monument Association, of which you are a Vice President, for a fee of a thousand dollars? F. D. GRANT, President, Fulton Monument Association. Telegraphic Answer: MAJOR-GENERAL F. D. GRANT, Army Headquarters,--I shall be glad to do it, but I must stipulate that you keep the thousand dollars and add it to the Monument fund as my contribution. CLEMENS. Letters: DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--You have the thanks of the Association, and the terms shall be as you say. But why give all of it? Why not reserve a portion--why should you do this work wholly without compensation? Truly yours FRED. D. GRANT. MAJOR GENERAL GRANT, Army Headquarters. DEAR GENERAL,--Because I stopped talking for pay a good many years ago, and I could not resume the habit now without a great deal of personal discomfort. I love to hear myself talk, because I get so much instruction and moral upheaval out of it, but I lose the bulk of this joy when I charge for it. Let the terms stand. General, if I have your approval, I wish to use this good occasion to retire permanently from the platform. Truly yours S. L. CLEMENS. DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--Certainly. But as an old friend, permit me to say, Don't do that. Why should you?--you are not old yet. Yours truly, FRED D. GRANT. DEAR GENERAL,--I mean the pay-platform; I shan't retire from the gratis-platform until after I am dead and courtesy requires me to keep still and not disturb the others.