Labrador (N.L.) -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Love stories, English
What a fine human being he was! And how touchingly human! The thoughts
of his moments of irritation, his baffled silences, filled her with a
wild passion of tenderness. She had disappointed him; all that life
failed to satisfy him. Dear master of her life! what was it he needed?
She too wasn't satisfied with life, but while she had been able to
assuage herself with a perpetual series of petty excitements, theatres,
new books and new people, meetings, movements, dinners, shows, he had
grown to an immense discontent. He had most of the things men sought,
wealth, respect, love, children.... So many men might have blunted their
heart-ache with--adventures. There were pretty women, clever women,
unoccupied women. She felt she wouldn't have minded--_much_--if it made
him happy.... It was so wonderful he loved her still.... It wasn't that
he lacked occupation; on the whole he overworked. His business
interests were big and wide. Ought he to go into politics? Why was it
that the researches that had held him once, could hold him now no more?
That was the real pity of it. Was she to blame for that? She couldn't
state a case against herself, and yet she felt she was to blame. She had
taken him away from those things, forced him to make money....
She sat chin on hand staring into the fire, the sock forgotten on her
knee.
She could not weigh justice between herself and him. If he was unhappy
it was her fault. She knew if he was unhappy it was no excuse that she
had not known, had been misled, had a right to her own instincts and
purposes. She had got to make him happy. But what was she to do, what
was there for her to do?...
Only he could work out his own salvation, and until he had light, all
she could do was to stand by him, help him, cease to irritate him,
watch, wait. Anyhow she could at least mend his socks as well as
possible, so that the threads would not chafe him....
She flashed to her feet. What was that?
It seemed to her she had heard the sound of a shot, and a quick brief
wake of echoes. She looked across the icy waste of the river, and then
up the tangled slopes of the mountain. Her heart was beating very fast.
It must have been up there, and no doubt he had killed his beast. Some
shadow of doubt she would not admit crossed that obvious suggestion.
This wilderness was making her as nervously responsive as a creature of
the wild.
Came a second shot; this time there was no doubt of it. Then the
desolate silence closed about her again.
She stood for a long time staring at the shrubby slopes that rose to the
barren rock wilderness of the purple mountain crest. She sighed deeply
at last, and set herself to make up the fire and prepare for the mid-day
meal. Once far away across the river she heard the howl of a wolf.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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