Labrador (N.L.) -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Love stories, English
The voice of a man, fevered and in pain, wounded and amidst hardship and
danger, struggling with the unrelenting riddle of his being. Ever and
again when a flame leapt she would see his face, haggard, bearded,
changed, and yet infinitely familiar.
His voice varied, now high and clear, now mumbling, now vexed and
expostulating, now rich with deep feeling, now fagged and slow; his
matter varied, too; now he talked like one who is inspired, and now like
one lost and confused, stupidly repeating phrases, going back upon a
misleading argument, painfully, laboriously beginning over and over
again. Marjorie sat before the stove watching it burn and sink,
replenishing it, preparing food, and outside the bitter wind moaned and
blew the powdery snow before it, and the shortening interludes of
pallid, diffused daylight which pass for days in such weather, came and
went. Intense cold had come now with leaden snowy days and starless
nights.
Sometimes his speech filled her mind, seemed to fill all her world;
sometimes she ceased to listen, following thoughts of her own.
Sometimes she dozed; sometimes she awakened from sleep to find him
talking. But slowly she realized a thread in his discourse, a progress
and development.
Sometimes he talked of his early researches, and then he would trace
computations with his hands as if he were using a blackboard, and became
distressed to remember what he had written. Sometimes he would be under
the claws of the lynx again, and fighting for his eyes. "Ugh!" he said,
"keep those hind legs still. Keep your hind legs still! Knife? Knife?
Ah! got it. Gu--u--u, you _Beast!_"
But the gist of his speech was determined by the purpose of his journey
to Labrador. At last he was reviewing his life and hers, and all that
their life might signify, even as he determined to do. She began to
perceive that whatever else drifted into his mind and talk, this
recurred and grew, that he returned to the conclusion he had reached,
and not to the beginning of the matter, and went on from that....
"You see," he said, "our lives are nothing--nothing in themselves. I
know that; I've never had any doubts of that. We individuals just pick
up a mixed lot of things out of the powers that begat us, and lay them
down again presently a little altered, that's all--heredities,
traditions, the finger nails of my grandfather, a great-aunt's lips, the
faith of a sect, the ideas of one's time. We live and then we die, and
the threads run, dispersing this way and that. To make other people
again. Whatever's immortal isn't that, our looks or our habits, our
thoughts or our memories--just the shapes, these are, of one immortal
stuff.... One immortal stuff."...
The voice died away as if he was baffled. Then it resumed.
"But we ought to _partake_ of immortality; that's my point. We ought to
partake of immortality.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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