I rather think that Lamar was the biggest brained of all the men I have
met in Washington. He possessed the courage of his convictions. A
doctrinaire, there was nothing of the typical doctrinaire, or theorist,
about him. He really believed that cotton was king and would compel
England to espouse the cause of the South.
Despite his wealth of experience and travel he was not overmuch of a
raconteur, but he once told me a good story about his friend Thackeray.
The two were driving to a banquet of the Literary Fund, where Dickens
was to preside. “Lamar,” said Thackeray, “they say I can’t speak. But
if I want to I can speak. I can speak every bit as good as Dickens, and
I am going to show you to-night that I can speak almost as good as
you.” When the moment arrived Thackeray said never a word. Returning in
the cab, both silent, Thackeray suddenly broke forth. “Lamar,” he
exclaimed, “don’t you think you have heard the greatest speech to-night
that was never delivered?”
II
Holding office, especially going to Congress, had never entered any
wish or scheme of mine. Office seemed to me ever a badge of bondage. I
knew too much of the national capital to be allured by its evanescent
and lightsome honors. When the opportunity sought me out none of its
illusions appealed to me. But after a long uphill fight for personal
and political recognition in Kentucky an election put a kind of seal
upon the victory I had won and enabled me in a way to triumph over my
enemies. I knew that if I accepted the nomination offered me I would
get a big popular vote—as I did—and so, one full term, and half a term,
incident to the death of the sitting member for the Louisville district
being open to me, I took the short term, refusing the long term.
Though it was midsummer and Congress was about to adjourn I went to
Washington and was sworn in. A friend of mine, Col. Wake Holman, had
made a bet with one of our pals I would be under arrest before I had
been twenty-four hours in town, and won it. It happened in this wise:
The night of the day when I took my seat there was an all-night
session. I knew too well what that meant, and, just from a long
tiresome journey, I went to bed and slept soundly till sunrise. Just as
I was up and dressing for a stroll about the old, familiar, dearly
loved quarter of the town there came an imperative rap upon the door
and a voice said: “Get up, colonel, quick! This is a sergeant at arms.
There has been a call of the House and I am after you. Everybody is
drunk, more or less, and they are noisy to have some fun with you.”
It was even as he said. Everybody, more or less, was drunk—especially
the provisional speaker whom Mr. Randall had placed in the chair—and
when we arrived and I was led a prisoner down the center aisle
pandemonium broke loose.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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