Though fastidious, Schurz was not intolerant. Yet he was hard to
convince—tenacious of his opinions—courteous but insistent in debate.
He was a German; a German Herr Doktor of Music, of Letters and of
Common Law. During an intimacy of more than thirty years we scarcely
ever wholly agreed about any public matter; differing about even the
civil service and the tariff. But I admired him hugely and loved him
heartily.
I had once a rather amusing encounter with him. There was a dinner at
Delmonico’s, from whose program of post-prandial oratory I had
purposely caused my own name to be omitted. Indeed, I had had with a
lady a wager I very much wished to win that I would not speak. General
Grant and I went in together, and during the repast he said that the
only five human beings in the world whom he detested were actually here
at table.
Of course, Schurz was one of these. He was the last on the list of
speakers and, curiously enough—the occasion being the consideration of
certain ways and means for the development of the South—and many
leading Southerners present—he composed his speech out of an editorial
tour de force he was making in the Evening Post on The Homicidal Side
of Southern Life. Before he had proceeded half through General Grant,
who knew of my wager, said, “You’ll lose your bet,” and, it being one
o’clock in the morning, I thought so too, and did not care whether I
won or lost it. When he finished, the call on me was spontaneous and
universal. “Now give it to him good,” said General Grant.
And I did; I declared—the reporters were long since gone—that there had
not been a man killed amiss in Kentucky since the war; that where one
had been killed two should have been; and, amid roars of laughter which
gave me time to frame some fresh absurdity, I delivered a prose paean
to murder.
Nobody seemed more pleased than Schurz himself, and as we came
away—General Grant having disappeared—he put his arm about me like a
schoolboy and said: “Well, well, I had no idea you were so
bloody-minded.”
Chapter the Twenty-Fifth
Every Trade Has Its Tricks—I Play One on William McKinley—Far Away
Party Politics and Political Issues
I
There are tricks in every trade. The tariff being the paramount issue
of the day, I received a tempting money offer from Philadelphia to
present my side of the question, but when the time fixed was about to
arrive I found myself billed for a debate with no less an adversary
than William McKinley, protectionist leader in the Lower House of
Congress. We were the best of friends and I much objected to a joint
meeting. The parties, however, would take no denial, and it was
arranged that we should be given alternate dates. Then it appeared that
the designated thesis read: “Which political party offers for the
workingman the best solution of the tariff problem?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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