Governesses -- Fiction; Love stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Working class women -- Fiction
"I've tried once or twice to tell him--" continued Claire.
"Tell who? Tell Mr. Van Brandt?"
"No, Mr. Ronald."
"O! You see, when you speak o' _he_ an' _him_ it might mean almost any
gen'l'man. But I'll try to remember you're always referrin' to Mr.
Ronald."
"I've tried once or twice to tell him, for I can't bear to be
untruthful. But, then, I remember I'm 'only the governess'--'the right
person in the right place'--of so little account that--that he doesn't
even know whether I'm pretty or not! And the words choke in my throat. I
realize it wouldn't mean anything to him. He'd only probably gaze down
at me, or he'd be kind in that lofty way he has--and put me in my place,
as he did the first time I ever saw him. And so, I've never told him. I
couldn't. But sometimes I think if I did--if I just _made_ myself do it,
I could hold up my head again and not feel myself growing bitter and
sharp, because something is hurting me in my conscience."
"That's it!" said Martha confidently. "It's your conscience. Believe
_me_, consciences is the dickens an' all for makin' a mess o' things,
when they get right down to business. Now, if I was you, I wouldn't
bother Mr. Ronald with my squalms o' conscience. Very prob'ly when it
comes to consciences he has troubles of his own--at least, if he ain't,
he's an exception an' a rare curiosity, an' Mr. Pierpont Morgan oughter
buy him for the Museum. When your conscience tells you you'd oughter
tell, ten to one you'd oughtn't. Give other folks a chance. What they
don't know can't worry 'em. Besides, your just _tellin_' a thing don't
let you out. You can't get clear so easy as that. It's up to you to work
it out, so what's wrong is made _right_, an' do it _yourself_--not trust
to nobody else. You can't square up by heavin' your load offn your own
shoulders onto another fella's. You think you feel light coz you done
your dooty, when ten to one you _done_ your friend. No! I wouldn't
advise turnin' state's everdence on yourself unless it was to save
another from the gallus. As it is, you can take it from me, the best
thing you can do for that--conscience o' yours, is get busy in another
direction. Dress yourself up as fetchin' as you can, go out motorin'
with your gen'l'man friend like he ast you to, let him get his perposal
offn his chest, an' then tell'm--you'll be a sister to'm."
CHAPTER XV
Sam Slawson had gone to the Adirondacks in January, personally conducted
by Mr. Blennerhasset, Mr. Ronald's secretary, Mr. Ronald, in the most
unemotional and business-like manner, having assumed all the
responsibilities connected with the trip and Sam's stay at the
Sanatorium.
It was Claire who told Mr. Ronald of the Slawsons' difficulty. How
Martha saw no way out, and still was struggling gallantly on, trying
single-handed to meet all obligations at home and, in addition, send her
husband away.
"That's too much--even for Martha," he observed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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