California -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Sisters -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
"Pa," Martie said suddenly, "I wonder if you believe that!" She stood
up now, facing him, her breath coming quickly. It seemed to Martie that
she had been waiting all her life to say this: hoping for the
opportunity, years ago, dreading the necessity now. "I wonder if you
believe," she said, trembling a little, "that you--and half the other
fathers and mothers in the world--are really in the right! I didn't ask
to be born; Sally didn't ask to be born. We didn't choose our sex. We
came and we grew up, and went to school, and we had clothing and food
enough. But then--THEN!--when we must really begin to live, you
suddenly failed us. Oh, you aren't different from other fathers, Pa.
It's just that you don't understand! What help had we then in forming
human relationships? When did you ever tell us why this young man was a
possible husband, and that one was not? I wanted to work, I wanted to
be a nurse, or a bookkeeper--you laughed at me! I had a bitter
experience--an experience that you could have spared me, and Lydia
before me, if you had cared!--and I had a girl's hell to bear; I had to
go about among my friends ASHAMED! You didn't comfort me; you didn't
tell me that if I learned a little French, and brushed up my hair, and
bought white shoes, the NEXT young man wouldn't throw me over for a
prettier and more accomplished woman! You were ashamed of me! Sally,
just as ignorant as Teddy is this minute, dashed into marriage; she was
afraid, as I was, of being a dependent old maid! She married a good
man--but that wasn't your doing! I married a bad man, a man whose
selfishness and cruelty ruined all my young days, crushed the youth
right out of me, and he might be living yet, and Teddy and I tied to
him yet but for a chance! I suffered dependence and hunger--yes, and
death, too," said Martie, crying now, "just because you didn't give me
a livelihood, just because you didn't make me, and Sally, and Lydia,
too, useful citizens! You did Len; why didn't you give us the same
chance you gave Len? Len had college; he not only was encouraged to
choose a profession, but he was MADE to! Our profession was marriage,
and we weren't even prepared for that! I didn't know anything when I
married. I didn't know whether Wallace was fit to be a husband or a
father! I didn't know how motherhood came--all those first months were
full of misgivings and doubts! I knew I was giving him all I had, and
that financially I was just where I had been--worse off than ever, in
fact, for there were the children to think of! Why didn't I have some
work to do, so that I could have stepped into it, when bitter need
came, and my children and I were almost starving? What has Len cost
you, five thousand dollars, ten thousand? What did that statue to
Grandfather Monroe cost you? Sally and I have never cost you anything
but what we ate and wore!"
Malcolm had risen, too, and they were glaring at each other. The old
man's putty-coloured face was pale, and his eyes glittered with fury.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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