As she passed the farm, the dog left his sentinel's post and came to be
spoken to, wagging his tail and giving friendly little barks. Mary gave
his wet coat three farewell pats and hastened on. She soon heard him
bark again, but it was another, angrier bark. She involuntarily thought
of Jörgen--and continued to think of him all this last part of the road,
which, but for him, would have been sacred to her father. How many
hundred times, beginning as a little child, she had walked and cycled
with her father here! Now this place too had been spoiled by Jörgen.
Never could she walk here again without _him_. Not a step further in
her life could she take without him!
Involuntarily she looked heavenwards--to see nothing but clouds and
thick darkness. She reached the last headland utterly exhausted, and
rounded it without thinking at all, without any feeling that it was the
last time, but also without fear.
Of what was before her now Mary was as certain as of the road beneath
her feet, which was leading her through the Krogskogen fields to the
landing-stage. It was so dark that her eyes, though by this time
accustomed to the darkness, did not distinguish the white walls of the
chapel until she was close to the landing-place. Her thoughts rushed to
the graves in the churchyard, but deserted them again instantly in order
to concentrate themselves on what she was about. She stepped on to the
quay without hesitation and walked quickly along it. The gale did not
threaten here, the rain no longer lashed her face; both had become
subdued and friendly powers from the time she had set foot on Krogskogen
soil, with its protecting ridge and islands. In other circumstances she
would have felt relief and possibly peace in return to the shelter of
her home--now every thought was blunted. Quite mechanically she hurried
on. Mechanically she unfastened some of the buttons of her cloak to get
at the key, mechanically inserted it in the key-hole and opened the door
of the bathing-house. Not until she was standing inside in the
pitch-darkness did her senses awake and feel alarm. When the remnant of
south-west wind which was blowing here slammed the door, she shuddered.
She felt as if she were not alone.
And now she must undress and go down the steps to become
ice-cold--ice-cold! Then dress again and go home to fever, and to its
consequences.
If the fever did not do what she expected of it, she had what would
help. She had found it amongst Mrs. Dawes's stores. The blame would be
laid on the fever.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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