Mary Gresley, and An Editor's TalesTrollope, Anthony
General
Mary Gresley, and An Editor's Tales
Trollope, Anthony
Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
In Fleet Street, as we came out of the Temple, we turned into an
eating-house and had some food. By this time the exercise and the air
had carried off the fumes of the liquor which he had taken, and I knew
that it would be well that he should eat. We had a mutton chop and a hot
potato and a pint of beer each, and sat down to table for the first and
last time as mutual friends. It was odd to see how in his converse with
us on that day he seemed to possess a double identity. Though the
hopeless misery of his condition was always present to him, was
constantly on his tongue, yet he could talk about his own career and
his own character as though they belonged to a third person. He could
even laugh at the wretched mistake he had made in life, and speculate as
to its consequences. For himself he was well aware that death was the
only release that he could expect. We did not dare to tell him that if
his wife should die, then things might be better with him. We could only
suggest to him that work itself, if he would do honest work, would
console him for many sufferings. “You don’t know the filth of it,” he
said to us. Ah, dear! how well we remember the terrible word, and the
gesture with which he pronounced it, and the gleam of his eyes as he
said it! His manner to us on this occasion was completely changed, and
we had a gratification in feeling that a sense had come back upon him of
his old associations. “I remember this room so well,” he said,--“when I
used to have friends and money.” And, indeed, the room was one which has
been made memorable by Genius. “I did not think ever to have found
myself here again.” We observed, however, that he could not eat the food
that was placed before him. A morsel or two of the meat he swallowed,
and struggled to eat the crust of his bread, but he could not make a
clean plate of it, as we did,--regretting that the nature of chops did
not allow of ampler dimensions. His beer was quickly finished, and we
suggested to him a second tankard. With a queer, half-abashed twinkle of
the eye, he accepted our offer, and then the second pint disappeared
also. We had our doubts on the subject, but at last decided against any
further offer. Had he chosen to call for it he must have had a third;
but he did not call for it. We left him at the door of the tavern, and
he then promised that in spite of all that he had suffered and all that
he had said he would make another effort to complete the Doctor’s work.
“Whether I go or stay,” he said, “I’d like to earn the money that I’ve
spent.” There was something terrible in that idea of his going! Whither
was he to go?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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