Christian fiction; Scotland -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
At length Godfrey came. But, although all the time he was away Letty
had retained and contemplated with tolerable calmness the idea of
making her confession to him, the moment she saw him she felt such
confession impossible. It was a sad discovery to her. Hitherto Godfrey,
and especially of late, had been the chief source of the peace and
interest of her life, that portion of her life, namely, to which all
the rest of it looked as its sky, its overhanging betterness--and now
she felt before him like a culprit: she had done what he might be
displeased with. Nay, would that were all! for she felt like a
hypocrite: she had done that which she could not confess. Again and
again, while Godfrey was away, she had flattered herself that the help
the objectionable Tom had given her with her task would at once
recommend him to Godfrey's favorable regard; but now that she looked in
Godfrey's face, she was aware--she did not know why, but she was aware
it would not be so. Besides, she plainly saw that the same fact would,
almost of necessity, lead him to imagine there had been much more
between them than was the case; and she argued with herself, that, now
there was nothing, now that everything was over, it would be a pity if,
because of what she could not help, and what would never be again,
there should arise anything, however small, of a misunderstanding
between her cousin Godfrey and her.
The moment Godfrey saw her, he knew that something was the matter; but
there had been that going on in him which put him on a false track for
the explanation. Scarcely had he, on his departure for London, turned
his back on Thornwick, ere he found he was leaving one whom yet he
could not leave behind him. Every hour of his absence he found his
thoughts with the sweet face and ministering hands of his humble pupil.
Therewith, however, it was nowise revealed to him that he was in love
with her. He thought of her only as his younger sister, loving,
clinging, obedient. So dear was she to him, he thought, that he would
rejoice to secure her happiness at any cost to himself. _Any_ cost? he
asked--and reflected. Yes, he answered himself--even the cost of giving
her to a better man. The thing was sure to come, he thought--nor
thought without a keen pang, scarcely eased by the dignity of the
self-denial that would yield her with a smile. But such a crisis was
far away, and there was no necessity for now contemplating it. Indeed,
there was no _certainty_ it would ever arrive; it was only a
possibility. The child was not beautiful, although to him she was
lovely, and, being also penniless, was therefore not likely to attract
attention; while, if her being unfolded under the genial influences he
was doing his best to make powerful upon her, if she grew aware that by
them her life was enlarging and being tenfold enriched, it was possible
she might not be ready to fall in love, and leave Thornwick. He must be
careful, however, he said to himself, quite plainly now, that his
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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