Christian fiction; Scotland -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
He had not failed, no one could have failed, to observe the dejection
that had for some time ruled every feature and expression of the girl's
countenance. Again and again he had asked himself whether she might not
be fancying him displeased with her; for he knew well that, becoming
more and more aware of what he counted his danger, he had kept of late
stricter guard than ever over his behavior; but, watching her now with
the misleading light of his mother's lantern, nor quite unwilling, I am
bound to confess, that the thing might be as she implied, he became by
degrees convinced that she was right.
So far as this, perhaps, the man was pardonable--with a mother to cause
him to err. But, for what followed, punishment was inevitable. He had a
true and strong affection for the girl, but it was an affection as from
conscious high to low; an affection, that is, not unmixed with
patronage--a bad thing--far worse than it can seem to the heart that
indulges it. He still recoiled, therefore, from the idea of such a
leveling of himself as he counted it would be to show her anything like
the love of a lover. All pride is more or less mean, but one pride may
be grander than another, and Godfrey was not herein proud in any grand
way. Good fellow as he was, he thought much too much of himself; and,
unconsciously comparing it with Letty's, altogether overvalued his
worth. Stranger than any bedfellow misery ever acquainted a man withal,
are the heart-fellows he carries about with him. Noble as in many ways
Wardour was, and kind as, to Letty, he thought he always was, he was
not generous toward her; he was not Prince Arthur, "the Knight of
Magnificence." Something may perhaps be allowed on the score of the
early experience because of which he had resolved--pridefully, it is
true--never again to come under the power of a woman; it was unworthy
of any man, he said, to place his peace in a hand which could
thenceforth wring his whole being with agony. But, had he now brought
himself as severely to task as he ought, he would have discovered that
he was making no objection to the little girl's loving him, only he
would not love her in the same way in return; and where was the honor
in that? Doubtless, had he thus examined himself, he would have thought
he meant to take care that the child's love for him should not go too
far--should not endanger her peace; and that, if the thing should give
her trouble, it should be his business to comfort her in it; but
descend he would not--would not _yet_--from his pedestal, to meet the
silly thing on the level ground of humanity, and the relation of the
man and the woman! Something like this, I say, he would have found in
his heart, horrid as it reads. That heart's action was not even, was
not healthy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account